OMG, I used to get International Male in the mail on the regular and I never grew weary of it! Look carefully ... the boy you hooked up with in Europe while studying abroad is in there!

I’m glad they’re young.

I still have questions: does he pick up his dirty clothes, does he leave an empty box in the cupboard after eating the last cracker, does he slurp his soup and most importantly, does he rinse all the used toothpaste out of the sink after brushing?

I remember when my brother won Rolling Stones tickets (not as in free, but got them) in the lottery and the mailman actually knocked on my mother’s door and waited while she opened them. 1981

Yes, there are plenty of bad women out there, but no one brings the fatigue and disappointment like men.

Oh, no! Now I have to worry about all those precious pink piggos getting sunburned. This just gets worse and worse! 

Where was Conan when all this was happening?

Will someone please explain to me the fun in swimming with pigs? All I can think about is p00ping pigs everywhere and that doesn’t make the beach sound fun. Not putting down pigs, just not wanting to vacation with them.

It won’t open, Walnuts.

Just as white people are complicit in the hundreds of years of racism in America and elsewhere, so are gentiles complicit in the antisemitism against Jews for hundreds of years. It’s not a European thing or an American thing, it’s a global thing. There is literally history on both groups’ oppression going back…

That wasn’t comedy, Don.

To be fair, I’m policing the behavior of ALL divorced people, not just hers. 

I’ve read other people having those kind thoughts, too, and cannot understand it. These are truly terrible people who hurt other, less fortunate people in some of the worst ways one can be hurt and I do not with them a nice wedding in any sense of the word. If Nicolae Ceaușescu’s daughter got married I wouldn’t wish…

Some say “hot,” others say bland. I know I’m a broken record on this issue, but jesus christ, you just got a divorce. Maybe give it a year? It’s so not good for the kids for newly-divorced parents to start dating immediately. 

It may be all fun and games for now, but eventually Pete Davidson is going to feel used.

I’ve always thought that I can make fun of my crazy cousin but no one else can. Meaning, as a Jew, I can talk about being Jewish. I wouldn’t try explaining Black people to anyone, or Indigenous people. Chappelle needs to stay in his lane. Comment on Ye, sure, but no one needs your hot takes on Jews. 

I read an article over the weekend that said Penn would come to get it back after Ukraine wins the war. Oh, brother.

Thanks, all. I wasn’t thinking. Dumb of me to not consider their foundation.

The only billionaire ex-wife I care about is the incredible Mackenzie Scott. Until French Gates starts giving away the cash in lieu of attending sporting events - or doing both, even - she’s a nonentity. 

Talk about tone-deaf. Dumbest gift ever. And yeah, he’s a class A jerk.