Are you me? I have stick straight ashy, mousy, brown-that-once-was-blond hair that does nothing. I gave up trying.

[takes a bow, wipes sweat from brow because that seems to be the Done Thing for tonight] thank you, thank you. I am not worthy.

Leprosy Big Bird.

Hah! From ages 18 to 20, more or less, a friend and I firmly held the belief that 23 was The Best Age for men we wanted to date, because they were adults (oh god. I really believed that.), had their shit together, were experienced and were the perfect Goldilocks ratio of not too old, not too young, just right. I dated…

Preaching to the choir, Bobby. Preaching to the choir.

Flames. Flames. On the side of my face. Can I punch her?

My period is no big deal. I don't bleed that much or for long. But the PMS is debilitating and, some months, crushing. Maybe I should look into this.

Aw, man, Buffy. Do what you must to pay the bills.

THANK YOU. As far as Popes go, he’s a pretty good one (for the record: Agnostic cultural Jew, here), but HE IS STILL THE POPE OF THE CATHOLIC CHURCH.

Gjetost is THE BEST THING EVER.

NO NEVER IT IS GROSS AND WHY DID YOU EVEN BRING IT TO MY MIND I RESENT YOU FOR IT. Oh, and ew.

Well, considering they either killed off or sent away pretty much everyone I liked, they'd better stop with the airplane crashes.

I’ve never felt older. I didn’t recognize a single one of those youths. If I were younger and knew how, I’d post a Schmidt “youths” gif, because that's how I feel.

That's me, too. Unfortunately.

Yes, I'm very much NOT vegan, yet I love vegan pastries. They can be really good!

I’m not sure Taylor knows who Alanis is all that well, either. She didn't even seem to know the lyrics.

"What do they eat?” Whiny little girls.

It really and truly doesn’t hurt that much. People make such a huge deal out of it, but it's just unpleasant, not torturous.

I had no idea Jemima Kirke and Alice Dellal were related. Huh.

I am fucking furious. Just made a donation to PP. I usually donate to them at least once a year, and my Amazon Smile benefits them, but I thought I needed to give more, under these circumstances.