I just like that they made a portmanteau of "magic cicada." Like Linnaeus or whoever was like "IT'S MAGIIIIIIIC. Every 17 years. Someone write that second part in Latin."

"sex-hungry Johnny Applesemens"

"Others, however, are actually interpreting the study as evidence that not breastfeeding a child for three years is what caused the extinction of Neanderthals."

I'm all for free discussion, but it's hilaaaarious when someone says something like that on a site like Jezebel.

Also some people just like being toasty in their apartments, thank you very much.

Yeah. And he makes it Protestant. BAM.

"clarion call of heroism" — *Nice.*

I'm pretty sure I had these two and then my brain made shit up.

OMG WHY DID I HAVE SKELETOR'S PANTHER-TIGER?

...was it a green tiger with purple stripes?

YESSSS She-Ra's castle. Best Christmas ever.

That GIF has made today worthwhile.

Good Lord, I love E-Mail My Heart.

Wait...isn't Sebastian Stan dating Jennifer Morrison from Once Upon a Time?

I know it's only been legal there for like half an hour, but I demand pictures NOW.

Imma marry this piece.

I think she'd be 77.

HILLARY WHY WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO US

Yeah, Minnesota's currently at 48/48 with it. I'm not super-hopeful about it, but am REALLY thrilledly (shut it, it's a new word) surprised by Maryland.

I went as Jason Voorhees in 3rd grade. My mom said it was only ok if I went as a fairy the next year.