if I’ve learned one thing during this pandemic, it’s that gym owners are generally terrible people and I will never, ever join a gym.

I was supposed to go to the Middle East before the end of the year. Because the United States is a shit show, we are labeled a high risk country. As soon as I land, the government required me to quarantine for seven days at my own expense where I will be PCR tested twice a day. If I ever test positive, I will be…

Okay, I am really really old and my eyes aren’t that good. Can someone explain to me exactly what is wrong with these people’s hair?

Ummmm I appreciate the bare minimum effort to Journalist (Which Is Your Job), I guess

Why are you surprised that receptionists at random hair salons are not wasting their time entertaining a random phone caller’s random questions about extensions at the RNC?

I was in GS through my Senior year of high school (though I definitely didn’t advertise it in high school). I always thought the uniforms were super lame (for the record I graduated high school in 2007). These are cute! I’m glad they’re finally interested in updating things. I loved being in scouts so that I could go…

Sounds like it’s not as bad for you. For me it got a lot worse and I had to act...but in 20/20 hindsight I wish I had done it earlier.

I love the “sanitize things” Covid Theatre that is going on - it’s right up there with airport “security theatre”. This is a *respiratory* disease - sure maybe you CAN get it from touching something then licking your fingers, but about a billion times more likely you are going to breath it in from someone else…

I never thought I’d like cruising, but I found that I find sailing very relaxing. I love the motion of the ship, and I long for those now waters and being far from land.

I don’t think you need to go one one.

What a monu-fucking-mentally stupid idea. 

I started getting tonsils stones around the age of 9 or 10. I remember coughing the out and crushing them in a piece of tissue then smelling it (YIKES I know) I would do this nifty trick of sticking a wet q-tips dipped in salt in the back of my throat and watching those little critters pop out. over a decade later and…

Ughhh, just reading this made me nauseated. I’ve had them often enough in my lifetime that I’ve learned that a q-tip dipped in some mouthwash seems to be the most effective (and least gross) way to rid myself of them.

God I hate these, but it’s been a long time since an article made me feel so normal, I tried explaining these to friends and family when I was younger and no one knew what I was talking about. 

Oh I knew how to do it. I just didn't want to. 

Yep, having others do all the hard work for you is how you excel at Business and Politics!

Oh my god, that’s funny. Nothing says “I am a strong, confident man” like intentionally hurting yourself just because there are lots of women around you. Also, I find it really hard to believe that every single woman in the program was vegetarian or vegan.

I am more than a little convinced that Kris Jenner is paying Jez for this coverage, it’s the only possible reason I can think of that the editors keep publishing this stuff despite everyone begging them not to. The Kardashians literally never come up in discussion with anyone I know in real life.

Do you get paid by the kkklan to write about them? Nobody cares!