The 90s teen in me wonders what the fuck happened to Gwen Stefani and thinks Blake Shelton is fucking lame.

Ali Wong was on this show??

LOL. A thief once broke my window, popped my trunk, and stole my jumper cables.

I haven’t had the Facebook app in years but they still collect this info.

Yeah. I agree that dietary restrictions are not the same as a child who refuses to eat anything except chicken nuggets this week. 

Ugh, Sloppy Joe’s. I'm also not a fan and I'm nearly 40.

Please enjoy these photos of her sitting in the dress. It bunches weird around the waist probably because it’s like glued to her body or something.

“the sleeve tassels are gonna fall in the toilet when you try to go pee.”

I would love to listen to her read the phone book, but.. this dress. I tried to find a better angle, but it’s just bad (the biggest problem is the stiffness of the material).

woosh

LOL. I love this idea!

Okay, I will explain this for you. My favorite theory is that the writer of this ad is actually a stay at home mom (not a CEO Mom) and she is basically writing her own job description because perhaps her CEO Husband doesn’t think she does enough or whatever. 

Please read my comment again with the knowledge that SAHM = “stay at home mom.”

Someone obviously paid out of pocket when they should HAVE USED THE POINTS, MARGARET!!

Sure, but not all parents have to do all of these things. I mean, I’m sure raising me was hell but there wasn’t any skiing, water polo, foreign languages, cooking with allergies, or spreadsheets!

My favorite theory is that a SAHM wrote this re: her CEO husband and she wanted to show him that everyone thinks the amount of work she does is FUCKING INSANE.

He should have said something deprecating like “I can’t hang so I’m bringing rolls.”

I would watch this alternative history movie!

We truly need some better non alcoholic choices. It's always soda or some sugary sweet bullshit.

Humanity had a good run (or not).