My best guy friend and I are both cat people- he owns a house and has 3, I live in a 2 room apartment and have one. We send each other funny cat pictures/gifs at least once a day, and give absolutely no fucks. I have gotten the "crazy cat lady" moniker jokingly, and I wear it as a badge of honor.

It's a perfectly cromulant paragraph!

Broad City is everything Girls wishes it could be.

Aw. I, too, suffered from Worried Baby Face Syndrome. If pictures are any indication, my brow was steadily furrowed until I hit 18 months.

And while they are riding in the Waaaahmbulance, they can eat a bag of freshly salted rat dicks.

Really? You are a way better person than me. If I ever got famous enough to where people would want to pay me to advertise shit, my face would be on EVERYTHING. I would be like Krusty the Klown with endorsements.

I went to the dentist for the first time in five years last week because I am terrified of them. Thanks a lot for this. :/

Celebration GIF party starts now. (Yes, you can feel good about him dying).

I despise this argument. Psychologically healthy people do not kill themselves because someone broke up with them, and another person's actions do not cause someone to become depressed. Outside forces (breakups, financial problems) can worsen depression but they do not cause it. It's completely unfair to blame this…

My brother and I still quote this commercial, loudly, gleefully, and as often as possible. "You, alright! I learned it by watching you!"

Imma let you finish, but the best drug PSA of all time is "I LEARNED IT BY WATCHING YOU!"

"You do realize that the early proponents of abortion (Margaret Sanger) wanted to do it in order to curtail the black population, so many minorities do think abortion is wrong."

MOAR HORSES.

"I'm a Republican because my friends need a fifty-cents-an-hour paycheck, because it's so hard for millionaires to stay millionaires when they're so cruelly forced by the government to support freeloading employees by all these horrible regulations that try to keep toxic chemicals out of my drinking water."

What a bunch of fuckin' dweebs. Holy crap.

Ahem, the "abortion-is-wrong-barista" is actually an "abortion-is-wrong-Asian-lady-barista." She hits the minority-lady-parts-minimum-wage trifecta!

HE'S SO UPSET YOU GUYS THAT HE CAN'T EVEN LOOK INTO THE CAMERA WHEN HE'S READING HIS LINES.