Why didn’t this radio DJ ever learn to keep their big mouth shut? That’s why it hurts so bad to hear the words that keep on falling from their mouth.

God forbid Rumi has a weight issue later in life, the mean jokes write themselves.

Take a look! It’s in a book!

To see this suit come up all these years later just proves the persistence of memory.

It’s like Coldplay’s “The Scientist” video, but with fishnets.

I recently started stopping for a large unsweetened iced tea on the way to the gym.

Their sisters across the pond send their support. (But really)

This girl has the self worth and confidence in her identity that I can only hope that every teenager has. Good for her.

I’m Babashook.

Of course we’re not people. It’s not like we’re corporations.

Weird, I saw the video and thought it was a Wild Turkey.

Yeah, this is a little LOST on me too.

Call him on his cell phone, you say?

‘CAUSE HE’S SO HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH

Politics and hilarity aside, Hasan Minhaj can get it.

I think we forgot a few sheroes, team.

So really, she wants ladies to go to college and...get information.

No one benefits from “proactive policing.” Not even famous white men.

I refrigerated a half-melted Egg this week. Looked like a turd when it came out. Boyfriend looked at me disgusted as I stared him down and enjoyed every bite.