Even if it did it would have been exposed to ionizing radiation rather than particle radiation. So it would have only damaged the molecules of the burger rather than actually irradiating the burger like fall out would. If anything it would have sterilized some germs on the burger making it safer to eat.

I’m calling it right now, alternate timeline Jim Tomsula. 

Added benefit is it will be disorienting for the punt returner to catch a ball that is spiraling in the opposite direction.

Is he venomous? I assume he’s venomous.

Speaking of which, I assume Drew has some good poop stories from being on opiates in the hospital. I’ve only been on opiates once, and fired out a multi-Couric dump after like a week.

Probably not “right” back.

DREW I HELD MY POOP IN FOR WEEKS WAITING FOR YOU TO COME BACK SO I CAN HAVE A GREAT MOMENT IN POOP HISTORY

After the Brexit vote, England IS the new Florida. From tourism.... https://nypost.com/2019/01/19/british-tourists-booted-from-new-zealand-for-being-too-rowdy/

I knew once Deadspin started covering fucking soccer that fencing couldn’t be far behind. 

Considering that there’s a Chik-Fil-A on Clemson’s campus, and that was a known deciding factor for one of the recruits, this maybe Trump’s best work since that time he outswam Fred Trump’s other sperms.

Read the paperwork bro, you gave Mark Zuckerberg the right of prima nocta to all your children.

It’s on a piece of paper that means its the right thing.

Oddly enough, Temujin’s entire empire was built from rage over a perceived slight by Ong Khan, who told him he looked “spanish.”

I was pulling for Boaty McBoatface.

I thought this was why you don’t let your kids be in Hollywood:

Uh huh.

If you hold it up to your ear, you can hear the echo of at least six painful PR meetings.

“Female-presenting nipples” is an all-time great for clumsy corporate wokeness.

Probably not.  Drummers die all the time.  The human body was simply not meant to be that metal.  

LET ME CHECK MY NOTES...NO.

Was... was the girlfriend the drummer!?