I believe that’s “puşşy.”

I tried to apologize to him after the incident but he refused.

Irrational resentment of immigrants?

Snake oil?

It wouldn’t make sense for Morelli to have a good game this late in the season. The last thing the NFL wants is inconsistency from their officiating crews.

Probably the shortest free-form Jazz performance ever.

I know I’ll only be a gray, but I have to let you know that this delighted an entire dive bar in Cleveland. This story came up on SportsCenter and I read this to people. They bowed before the internet you.

If by air you mean person, then yes, he hit nothing but air on the middle two shots.

Seven seasons is not really a rental, it’s longer than the average NFL career.

What flavor smoothie did he order? Because that is how I judge a man.

Your comment ranks right up there with the reasons why I come to Deadspin.

One of things I'm forever greatful to him is the $2m he donated to the UofM women's and children's hospital where my son was born prematurely. He got great care there and to top it off Woodson won his Super Bowl ring a few weeks later.

We don’t need luck; Jay will throw us the ball.

Charles Woodson belongs on every “all time team” list. One of the only players in history to win a collegiate national championship, Heisman Trophy, Super Bowl and MVP/DPOTY. Also the only player ever with 50 picks (65) and 20 sacks. Plus he has a shot at getting to 1,000 tackles before he’s done.

Wow time sure does fly. I remember sitting on my couch, young, unmarried, jobless watching him win the Heisman. Now 18 years, 7 pro bowls, a Super bowl ring later, I’m sitting on my couch, old, unmarried, jobless, reading about his retirement. Life sure does come at you fast.

I served him when I worked at the Jamba Juice by the coliseum when I worked there in high school. He’s a class act and a legend.

Ooofff.

By $50,000, I’m pretty sure he means he’s dumped that much into tri bikes over the years. This bike goes for about $10,000.

this joke would have been funnier if it had been told 10 years ago

Way to spoil the surprise for your nephew, James. Now he knows exactly what kind of institutional racism is in store for him.