I see you missed the part about hand-to-hand combat.

“...some men aren’t looking for anything logical, like money. They can’t be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.”

What the fuck even is this...?

“’The best cereal is brown rice & wheat germ with extra sadness and self-denial’ - Tim Marchman” was the part that did me in. So glad my cubicle neighbors were taking a coffee break at the time, because I lost it.

I stopped reading at Benihana. That place is a piece of shit.

I love whiteboarding as well. Wouldn’t have made it through college if it weren’t for the huge whiteboard I stuck up on the wall halfway between my bed & my desk.

Two things I don’t understand about your comment:

+1

I wish more people would read this comment before posting.

The Lunar New Year isn’t officially until next Monday. There’s still plenty of time for them to incorporate the celebration & giveaway on a different date that doesn’t coincide with the first day of BHM, and I’m sure they will.

Fantastically executed troll. Bravo, these comments are amazing.

Watson’s performance last night was fluky compared to his season as a whole? The dude was a Heisman finalist!

No. No, it wouldn’t.

These two comments are phenomenal.

Hmm, what’s the word I’m looking for...? Oh yeah, ‘coincidence.’ I would never utter what Kobe/Rondo did, but I imagine if I was to the type to do so, I would probably have an eerily similar “apology” as well.

Ahh, you mean the QB of the Year Award? Yes, I remember that now.

I’m all for rivalry pranks, but not when it potentially ruins someone’s livelihood. That Craigslist ploy is messed up.

“I got this...?”