I always thanked my Aunties when they slipped $5 into my birthday card, so ...

I’m just glad the little girls’ tattoos are covered up.

Maybe it’s his cousin; identical cousin.

David Duke? Oh, wait — you mean the last election...

E X A C T L Y

Wut the ....

He’s about to get whiteballed.

Please tell us more, Encyclopedia Brown.

You know when your gut tells you something is wrong? That’s how I read that part of what she said.

True. I made that mistake once. A knockoff I bought overheated so badly that it woke me up — the smell of the plastic casing melting. I tossed it and spent the extra bux on the real deal, which is what I should have done in the first place.

The lovely and untalented Abigail Fisher.

I think everyone did.

#MeTooAlso

If these were white women, they’d be in the clubhouse on their 6,598th martini.

I wonder if she broke a nail.

I have to cleanse the palate with that one, it’s so spot on.