I’ve heard a lot of guys brag that if they ran, they’d trip over their own dick, but this is the first time I’ve actually seen it happen.

Right how much do we think Bob Saget and Candace Cameron actually hate each other?

If I were the Olsens I wouldn’t want to spend any extra time around Candice Cameron no matter how much they were paying me.

I paid 18 bucks for taco bell last week

A deranged tyrant who runs a technologically backwards country? Mac is EXACTLY what I’d expect.

Me.

I’m having real trouble playing this game, because on ultra I just keep stopping and panning the camera around and muttering “holy shit” like a madman.

Dude #1

So, basically, it’s like everytime you try to have a faculty meeting. Everyone is never free on the same night.

Without speculating to deeply, this kid is from Columbia, MD, a well-to-do suburb of Baltimore and DC. Affluenza season may soon be upon us.

This woman is a true hero. I should celebrate by sending her pictures of my genitals, right?

One of my favorite sentiments is “never light yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.” You can’t help or be there for anyone else if you can’t keep yourself whole and sane.

What’s “Assassin’s Creed Unity”?

ok, on this one there’s dickery from both sides. The little boy on the bike who thinks public roads are his own personal race track should have had his license suspended at most.

I have respect for law enforcement, but what happened here does not paint cops in a good light.

Unfortunately, my Forester has (arguably nice and pretty well-rated) All-Seasons on it.

They're either the General Altimax RT or AT, I forget. However, even with those... last Winter it pretty much "walked away" from most cars on snowy Michigan streets, and we had no trouble driving it.