Man, I don’t know if I missed it or not, but if you’re going to be a regular at Deadspin now we’re all better for it. Loved your book. Love this writing.

Excellent read.

Let’s be fair here, the problem isn’t that people can’t decide what they want until they pull up to the squawk box, it’s that you can’t see the goddamn menu until you pull up to it. I usually have an idea what I want before I get there, but sometimes the menu reminds me of something that I haven’t had in a while, or I…

And I looked back and saw only one set of footprints in the sand, and I asked God, “Why, when I needed you most, why did you abandon me?” God replied, “No, Antonio, it was then that I carried you. Because you cryogenically froze your fucking feet. This was one month ago! How do you not remember this?”

Matt Berry gifs get an upvote, it’s the rules.

That’s

I don’t know that I’m totally on board for this, but I’d like to see it if only to make Piers Morgan’s head explode. 

It’s almost like you can be a halfway decent soldier and still be a thoroughly shitty human being or something.

And like that, the laughs of a million Steelers fans were suddenly silenced.

Taking the Army to multiple overtimes is a fun tribute to the war in Afghanistan

Ultimately, it was crossing the thin line between“honky honky” and “dead honky” that led to the suspension.

That Grandpa email of the week was fucking fantastic.

Pff. That child is soft and weak. I watched Pee Wee’s Big Adventure with the Large Marge scene pretty much every day as a kid and that’s the way I liked it.

You may know Rip’s daughter Rita from her numerous narrowly-averted attempts at galactic domination.

We know what he is not, which is a copy editor

I wonder how Jessica refrained from giggling when she heard that. 

Whats the point? They'd refuse to leave their sweet home

Breaking the law maybe?

I get the parent’s grief. But blaming some locker room attendant for running out to score him some drugs and not Skagg’s himself is some next level denial. His death is indeed tragic and I wish he got some help, but it was his decision to make this fatal mistake. Jamming up some underling is bullshit.

Juuuuuuust a bit outside.