Are you there God? It's me, Timmy.

Trevor Noah didn’t tell her how to react. He was floored, and I was too, that she confronted him with all of his hateful tweets and let the whole thing go with an “did I do that? Oh, excuse me,” then moved on like it never happened.

Incidentally, “kid gloves”, also the name of the mittens from the children’s department that Donald Trump must buy to fit his tiny hands.

Frankly, I’m disappointed she didn’t take him to task. He was awful to her for months. I don’t think I could sit there and be as soft on him as she was.

I think it’s fair to criticize Kelly (and lots of other journalists) for treating Trump with kid gloves. He’s an idiot with dangerous, constantly shifting policies, and he should be called to account for them. It’s not fair to tell her how she has to react to the way Donald Trump has treated her.

I found the panda.

“That’s not how you play hide the cigar...”

DRY HEAVING PENIS oh mygod

Is Boo-Tea made from powdered ghosts?

I was not knocked out for my vasectomy. I got to smell the burning testicle flesh. I’m assuming that they’ve gotten better at it since the 6 years ago when I had it done, because I felt like hell for a couple days afterwards. Five days after, I very hesitantly attempted to masturbate. Not because I was desperately…

My guess is this is the explanation for a fair amount of L.A. traffic. The 405 for instance is full of jerk offs.

But if a woman wanted to have her tubes tied with tin two days of a pregnancy scare, we'd support her! It's his body and not my place to judge.

Mason jars: for when you want people to know your sperm is artisinal.

Actually, we do. She was convicted of extortion for it.

I miss when you had to draw your sex organ and mail it across the country in the hopes that the horse drawn carriage pulling your mail across the rugged, undeveloped landscape becomes waylaid by a pack of female bandits who seize the mail, find your hand drawn sex organ, and eventually track you down because, my man,…

I send them to my wife as a joke when I’m lying in bed next to her and she’s reading on her phone.

Does it honestly not bother you that Bernie supporters are sending death threats to a woman who, as far as I can tell, was just doing her job? I get wanting to have positive coverage of your preferred candidate, but any coverage of the event that leaves out the booing and death threats is still pretty slanted - it’s…

Does Ethan think that if Sanders becomes President that people will cease to think a grown man that still lives with his Mom will no longer be considered a loser?

I am not painting *you* as anything. I am also, in my way, as I mentioned up top, “a woman who supports Bernie,” although as a journalist I don’t throw my arms around any politician entirely and never will.

The lack of organizing has been the death of the Sanders campaign. They put all their money into huge rallies, TV ads, and internet presence. They trained no one. His supporters do not understand the process, so they’re all ready to believe whatever ridiculous conspiracy theory or imaginary delegate math scenarios…