In my cartoonishly pervy mind, I wondered if they had some sort of romantic interaction that led Ruby to get all protective.

I don’t really think this is a situation where there’s a “correct” answer. As others have said, terms like genderqueer are broad by design. It means different things to different people, and that’s fine. I would argue that manhood and womanhood also mean different things to different people.

Well, gender and sexuality both exist on a spectrum. Some people don’t identify with the absolutes. And we really only know that Hopkins’ victim(s) was a woman. That doesn’t necessarily mean that they never slept with men. Plus, queer men are indeed capable of sexually assaulting women.

I get that, but lingo evolves. Also, and this is purely conjecture, since both of the band members were DMAB, I don’t think it’s unlikely that they identified as gay before coming out as NB. Thats not especially uncommon.

Yeah, that’s not what I was insinuating. I’m a visibly brown gay lady in the South, but I don’t think that means I can liberally use the word “f*g” or be otherwise shitty to my gay male friends.

That’s fair, and true. My point was more that if say, my pansexual female friend called herself a “pillow princess”, I wouldn’t be up in arms about it.

Also, I don’t mean for this to sound combative, but I find the last part of your comment a bit ironic. If any subset of the LGBTQ+ community has an ounce of political power it’s cis gay men.

Idk, I don’t necessarily think it’s fair to say other queer people can’t use the same explicitly sexual terms as “real” gay people.

Yeah, it is. Granted, I’ve only ever heard queer kinksters use it, but for them it certainly isn’t exclusive to gay men.

You’ve said this a bunch and I sort of want to push back on it. I’ve heard lots of not exclusively gay queer men (and some GNC women) use the term “power bottom,” especially in the kink community.

Well, rape is about power and control, not sex appeal. But from what I understand, they identify as bi (or maybe pan?)

Ehhh, idk. I live in FL and have family in NH, and they at least appear to have the same colossal wealth gap and weird news stories.

I couldn’t bring myself to watch this because I was afraid it would destroy my love of Joel McHale :/

Hahaha no worries! I find it hilarious and I love when others do as well

UGHHH. Your ex sounds just like my ex. He pulled the same thing, only he called me to tell me he stole a bunch of his mother’s insulin and was going to OD on it.

I’m saying I don’t know how to address people appropriating queerness, not that I don’t believe it happens.... You’re ranting at the wrong person here.

This is grossly simplifying the issue. You can’t really “prove” gender or sexuality in the same way you can prove your race.

TBH this doesn’t sound much different than people saying “my black says I can say the n-word, so it’s fine.”

Yeah, I think you’re right. I think examining why people identify the way they do is akin to gender detecting or asking people to “prove it.”

That’s fair. I agree that there privileged people intentionally othering themselves in an issue, but I honestly don’t know if there’s a way to discuss it without inadvertently damaging the lives of marginalized people.