Tis gettyng hawte uppe inne heeyaugh!

Literally just yesterday, I decided that the first of three questions I will ask a new guy I hope to sleep with is what their position on abortion is. Because FUCK THAT if they think they're gonna try to bully me into having a baby when I'm just trying to get my sexytimes on.

That butthole should be glowing red, too.

I have MD. I loathe jerry lewis with a ferocity that's difficult to even put into words. Every one of "jerry's kids" I've met through the years hates those telethons. That article posted pretty much sums up why.

Stephen Colbert: you are who I want to be.