Um. Hello? My helmet is up here

[Note to millennials: Coolio was the approximate cause of the Little Ice Age.]

Any seediness by Churchill would undoubtedly be related to his penchant for corn, whole apples and sesame bread

I’m just here for the bench reactions.

I would also say, "don't eat at Subway", but that's just me

Maybe the plan was to have the defense so very grossly screw up and then use that on appeal. Would that work or is it, “your attorney, your loss”?

Upon learning that a Buffalo had holes, the entire Redskins team shed a tear.

Dude seems to be against a lot of things. Doesn't sound like much of a libertarian to me

I’m just waiting for Kutcher to pop out of nowhere

I eat oatmeal with feta cheese and olive oil

The Dolphins, who are endangered, continue to look for ways to go extinct.

Lufthansa officials do not believe Winston's past will be a distraction.

You'll never make the triangle offense fit in Madison Square Garden

Turning a huge swath of your stadium's seating into a construction pit and then just draping some murals over it and hoping that nobody will notice ... is not really a great plan!

Pro Football Talk described Belichick's complaints as

How come there are so many brewers nowadays that they are running out of beer names, yet all they seem to be brewing are IPAs?

"No problem."

Judging by the $20 entry fee, there must have been 3.5

That ain't even in America, I reckon

Gilbert's song was originally called, "Your My His Boo", but his agent thought he should chill it with the pronouns.