Man, fuck this guy's TV set!

Of course it's not him. Mario Balotelli abhors debate. When he has an issue, he'd much rather pout intransigently, thank you very much

"I'm a little tired now. Also, I think I'll go home now"

"Nothing medicinally" means drug related, no? Jerry Jones knows that no medication will stop Tony Romo from playing.

Why write "dollars" twice?

This is very true. The Ravens actually offered him the job before landing Harbaugh.

Your friend should probably be happy so many idiots demand this since it means she has more choices of gluten-free foods.

First Harvin, now Lynch? Maybe the players are fed up with the Seahawks.

Hunter Pence's default Halloween costume is Stork

Now that "BEARS!" has re-supplanted the lame "BEARS", I'll be reading bear-related news with renewed vigor.

"There came Ronaldo's Magnificent Coif. Mesmerized, Serbs and Albanians put aside their centuries old animosities. And that, my grandson, is how the Balkans became the paragon of peace and brotherhood we know today."

I can totally see why Chris wouldn't want to carry that dead weight - too floppy, too sweaty, stinky to high heaven. Plus, he just joined the team. Donald Sterling doesn't mean much to him

Thomas: Did your parents also say 'YOLO' when they named you?

So, two wrongs do actually make a right.

"He's just trying to avoid that flag. That shit can make you blind."

"That's a great idea, Albert!"

We should probably call a spade a spade here. There is a difference between desiring something and accepting it if served to you on a plate, and actually getting off your ass and seeking it.

"Pffft. Desaparecido"

Actually, that is a flag of Ethnic Albania. It outlines all the areas in the Balkans where Albanians live and have done so for centuries. The word below the flag "autochthonous", meaning indigenous, is a direct answer to the Serbian claim that Albanians in Kosovo are newcomers.