That blonde. I'd hit that

Awesome! But at the last minute he is told that the million dollars would to go towards cleaning santorum off porn sets.

I love these reviews. Hope you can do one for caffeinated aftershaves.

The weirdest thing is that Deadspin is taking them seriously. DEADSPIN!

Hard to be a kicker if you're missing a foot

That may be true, but it does not apply here. The way they've been touting Schefter is like they've made a power sharing deal post-elections with him. Just this morning an article started like this:

Wait, isn't Deadspin constantly reminding us that all those people at ESPN are clowns that would eat out their mothers for ratings? And now just because what those (former) douchebags are saying neatly fits in Deadspin's Rice-gate narrative, they're a trusted news source? Seems to me Deadspin is saying, "ESPNers may…

Schefter looks like he's trying to say he never saw the video himself. I have a hard time believing he was offered to see it and didn't

That's 91 yards

slice 'em crosswise into half-rings maybe a half-centimeter thick

Judging advertisements by any sort of aesthetic criteria is probably a category error

The expression "running out of beer" in German is probably rendered as "broke into the last metric ton"

Well, bring Kluwe back to apologize, THEN tell him to fuck off

four years before Tim Berners-Lee proposed the World Wide Web...

ever brush your hair?

The first half contains MLS and the three stars. The second half is an open white space that brings you in and out of the MLS world.

Number 1 is Duff. This list is a failure

I have not read the comments, but am sure I am echoing about 60% of them when I say, "You go to hell! You go to hell and you die!"