@lolly71: This is the same guy that has to "get his point across" 1,000 times in an argument. Which is just a fancy way of trying to talk you down until you shut up. And also a good way to get your face broken open.

@lolly71: Dear Women—Some of us don't like these douchebags anymore than you do.

@notaclevername: I was going to suggest wine or whiskey. Or meth.

So, what if you're average looking, with a combination of traits, like honest, intelligent, offensive and unstable?

I'm over Amy Winehouse. Sharon Jones is WAY more talented.

@charlotte corday: Not only that, skinny girls can't drink, which means they're no fun at the bar.

@charlotte corday: I wouldn't limit that to English men...

THESE ARE NOT REAL NAMES!

@Go Like Hell Machine: I spent every day of it

I worked for one day in a school bus assembly plant. The pay was OK, but, somehow, I would have thought they would recognize that having a dude who was 5'5" aand 120lbs using a 15lb rivet gun to rivet the CEILING of a bus wasn't a good idea. I spent every day of it holding this 15lb piece of equipment at arm's…

I wish people liked SoCal more, so they'd stop moving to Denver. Californians really fuck up the expressways when there's four feet of snow on the ground.

@notaclevername: You must live in south Florida. Most of what I remember of living in Florida was whiskey, swampland, and humidity. Oh, and rampant insanity.

..higher than average rates of exercise and lower than average rates of smoking; despite being humidity-free and sunny all the time and full of good-looking people...

I want a beer commercial that actually depicts my last relationship (and beer):

@MOJITOBABY: Your mother should have taken a page from my mother's playbook. When I was in middle school, I broke up with a girl over the phone, and my mother (who, like many mothers, has super-human hearing and extra-fantastic people reading skills, not to mention a ninja's backhand) promptly drove me to the girls'…

@warmaiden: I've found that writing obscenely brutal personal ads on Craigslist nets you interesting conversations. Like the 60-year old woman that wants to teach me to play accordion. It's good for entertainment, in any case.

@warmaiden: Drinking makes virtually all things better. Except maybe driving.

When is someone going to come up with an emoticon for "KILL". Because that's one I'd use.

This kind of makes me miss being at home. My father starts every Thanksgiving (and Christmas, and New Years') off with Jack Daniels and coffee at roughly 7AM. My mother starts drinking margaritas at roughly 10AM. By 3 in the afternoon, my whole family is wasted, full and asleep or fighting. Thanksgiving in the…

Excessive? Nah. Counter-intuitive? Yes. Everyone knows you should start drinking at 4. In the morning.