Partial cast list here:

This story, combined with the fact that our file clerk has been throwing a temper tantrum re: a paper jam for the last 15 minutes, has me in quite the stabby mood this Monday morning.

I'm def going with alconlad, we're going to get drunk and heckle the shit out of it. #keepingthesparkalive

Meh.

So lack of chemistry

oh ffs

I love that dog

So, did she come forward with her story because she thought it would make her ... look like less of a massive cunt?

It is kind of upsetting. Girl is 17! Remember how self-conscious/self-doubting your cuteness you were at 17?! Now multiply that by a million and make Kris Jenner your mom.

I hate the phrase "he's a grower, not a shower" more than anything in the world.

Thank you, Hamilton Cosby protestors!

Mine is like a -4

Seriously. How long before he kills someone else? I'm betting it'll be before the end of 2015.

There isn't a word in the lexicon that accurately describes him. Right now, I'm using "doucheturd." Feel free to give me any suggestions.

Wow.

It was pretty cold and snowy, we would have snuck you in.

omg the chicken was so good

THIS IS THE WEDDING I WAS AT ADULTOSAUR.

I WAS THERE GUYS

From the Times (UK) article on this (I'd link it, but it's behind a paywall):