I seem to recall a very short-run monorail in Detroit? It may be my memory is deceiving me...Monorail? That's more of a Shelbyville idea....

@norbizness: I want you to look around, and see if you can find the components to fabricate a rudimentary lathe.

@The4thMolinaBrother: Or the immortal "obvious comparison": "If the shortstop/second baseman/outfielder doesn't catch that ball on the fly, it's highly likely the batter will take a base!" I hate McCarver with the heat of a thousand suns, but since my Yankees are not participating, my interest in the Series has…

@howdini: Needs the Lego "Chicken Feet" blocks...(not available in USSR!)

@dlaciv12: No. Just no. What exactly do you live on, air and rainwater? I do hope you were being ironic or sarcastic. Ditto Mr. No Wheat above; just because some have difficulty digesting wheat and wheat products does not mean that no one should eat this grain. I'd bet money that the corn lobby has a lot more to do…

@Ben Babcock: Didn't mean to scare you, I made up the part about the Snuggies. But I do think some recycled plastic is used in the manufacture of "fleece."

@dagwud: Haven't you ever seen "How It's Made"? They grind it up and turn it into recycling bins...and Snuggies.

@jcollierdavis: REAL Word users only use monospaced fonts! Courier 4evah!!!!!!!

@avconsumer2: "This is a hybrid. This is a cross, ah, of Bluegrass, Kentucky Bluegrass, Featherbed Bent, and Northern California Sensemilia. The amazing stuff about this is, that you can play 36 holes on it in the afternoon, take it home and just get stoned to the bejeezus-belt that night on this stuff." — Carl…

@brianbeatdown: And a cup of really hot, really strong tea! Just don't forget your towel.

Simply NOT visiting twitter.com is guaranteed to prevent any potential vulnerabilities/exploits/hacks. Plus, it keeps you from being a stupid twatter...er, tweeter...I mean, twitterer.

@SEDAGIVE?!: Hearted for your username and the icon. HE...VASS...MY...BOYFRIEND!!!!!!

"Sandra's Agony"??? Really? REALLY???? I'm so sure she is crying herself to sleep at night because the man who cheated on her with one tattooed skank may/may not have impregnated another? Yeah, riiiiight. Let's have a big chorus of "Who Cares"?????

@92BuickLeSabre: Come on, no Shakespeare fans in the audience??

@Alfisted: Sadly, if he's really determined to kill himself, it is very likely that he will succeed. What a waste...he's only friggin' 22! Wait another 10 or 20 years, and you will be in a slightly better position to consider this route. Or not.

@thegoddesscher: And as "Seinfeld" taught us, the explanation/excuse is always the same: "Million to one shot, Doc, million to one!"

@MAdmin: Understood. I have heard the Swedish language spoken (seen more than a few Bergmann films!) and it has a nice lilt, but I bet the grammar rules are enough to make any student of the language cry. Course I'm the guy who actually likes the sound of spoken German...Dutch? Not as much...and yes, I struggled with…

Just finished both parts of this story, and I am impressed. Firstly, you are a very brave person to share this with the Deadspin commentariat (just kidding) and your story really rang true. No need to go into any more detail then you did regarding the program, and bravo for identifying "addiction." It's like you said;…

@MAdmin: "Too bad it sounds really ugly and has such annoying grammar and vocabulary exceptions, which I probably never would have learned had it not been my mother tongue." Many of the same points apply to the English language. Especially the "annoying grammar...exceptions." Don't even get me started on spelling...

@Hello Mister Walrus: Stay classy!