Fake Detective

I want to watch a buddy cop show about her and Rachel Dolezal. Rach is the tough, take-no-shit, blackface cop. She doesn’t need a gun or badge; she’s got her bow and arrow and her race card. Belle is the freewheeling hippie cop with a tragic secret: she’s dying of fake-ass cancer. Together, they must team up to fight…

you can hide a lot of lies in a GIANT TURTLENECK

The Pontiac Aztek was a better GM than Doc Rivers.

BOOTSTRAPS FANDANGO!

Bob Costas is the worst. He embodies everything wrong with sports journalism. Unless and until he’s excelled at anything athletic, I’m really not interested in what he has to say about sports. I can only hope he’s asked his ancestors for forgiveness.

In post-Soviet internet, communist spies expose YOU!

Croatia and their checkered past

One thing is for sure, either way: The Elkland Aesthetics have found an absolute diaphragm in the roof.

We have always been at war with eastasia and Taylor Swift.

I knew I shoulda bought that baseball made out of Secretariat when I had the chance

Duuuuuude, that means David Bowie and George Orwell are feuding with Taylor Swift too!

It’s like Bosnia & Herzegovina.

look into the taint area of ur heart...and u will discover the most magical playground

Kinda makes me wonder where Doug Fister’s poster is hanging...

if youre pegging the pitcher you’re doing it wrong

But soft! What bench through yonder playoff reeks?

This is what happens when you let them drink soda.

Oh I carry all the fucks I give in my portmanteau briefcase.

8——D~~~~~~ (())