Bag of Utz Carolina BBQ on my desk right now. Yeah, their regular BBQ is not good. I prefer Herr’s and Martin’s versions. (PA chips for the win!)

Quiche? I’m guessing it’s served with a glass of Chablis in a brightly lit restaurant with plenty of ferns planted about and Duran Duran playing softly over the sound system.

New Coke II: Electric Boogaloo

1. Nannyism

I love the Buffalo wings flavor, but I can’t find them anywhere in my region (souithcentral PA, snack food headquarters) except at the Lidl in York. That’s a 30-minute drive. It’s frustrating.

Welcome to the party, pal! This has been an issue for years. 

It helps that he always gets a lion’s share of Pennsylvania’s film tax credit money since he’s been instrumental to southeast PA’s film industry almost from its start. They love him there. So that’s money in the bank on day one for his investors.

Nothing worse than getting an urge for something sweet and checking every drawer and all your wife’s hiding places in the house only to find a chocolate orange. Yuck.

Limited production plus a comforting family tradition.  Same way we have my grandmother’s bran muffins for Thanksgiving, even though nobody eats them. 

Clear Toys, aka Barley Pops. My wife insists that we have them at Xmas, as well as ribbon candy. She’s traveled an hour to find them at a candy store. So, so bad.

The one actual good thing about PA state liquor store monopoly used to be when it was run by Jonathan Newman. He educated himself on wine and would travel to wineries for tastings.

Grew up in a restaurant family and was the sous chef for years, so I do all the cooking in the house. Not to brag, but my wife says I’ve ruined dining out for her. Makes me feel good plus it saves money.

I’ve never eaten a Little Debbie product since I’m in PA and Tastykake exists.

A person who’s so far gone that their license is revoked will, I mean WILL, not give a single crap and will continue driving. Stop pretending and just jail them forever or sho*t them.

Sam’s Club hot dogs are disappointing, but usually because they have been too long in hot water, even at 11 a.m.

My wife’s work pays for a membership so that she can buy stuff for school (she’s a nursery school director), so I get a card, too. 

I had to buy a jar of Maille for an Alton Brown potato salad recipe (it was good). Since I only had to use less than a 1/4 cup, I have them leftover.

Thanks for respecting the third-person pronoun preference of an absolute scumbag.

Nobody misses the harfoots. C’mon.

Grey Poupon Country Dijon and Duke’s mayo 1 to 1 is my wife’s go-to dip for when I make her sauteed chicken strips in a panko bound breading.