I enjoyed this until BAD HARMONICA, and then it was okay again until, once again, BAD HARMONICA. The harmonica is a lovely instrument, to be cradled in two hands, one of which you may, in judicious moderation, quiver for a vibrato effect. I would like to ask musicians everywhere, before you strap a harmonica holding…

Your soul is gonna burn for all E-tern'ty,
So, hurry up and bring your juke box money!

*inserts penis in Music Box theater hole, freezes at the roar of activated machinery and the sensation of an icy robotic grip*

Is your name not Bruce then?
No, it's Paz.
That's going to cause a little confusion.
What if we call you Bruce, just to keep it clear?

I did really enjoy her version of Lonely Goatherd

Here's a link to the show's food designer's blog: http://janicepoonart.blogsp…

If you were a human duodenum on Dr. Lector's sausage drying rack, you might say "MY CHYME IS DRY."

If you were Gozer from Ghostbusters, you might say, "MY SLIME IS PSI."

If you were a window sill sneaking hobo, you would say "MY CRIME IS PIE."

He's just talking about your sea turtle.

The excerpt was kind of sweet, if a little sticky. It would be nice to be able to talk to one's childhood literary heroes. It makes me sad that Edward Lear has been dead going on 150 years now. We'll never know what runcible really means.

Let's not kid ourselves, Cookie. The assertion in that text goes beyond your satisfaction with said sometimes-food, tacitly endorsing the established non-phonetic orthography of that word, so to further disenfranchise the contingent who are inclined, most reasonably, to spell it with a K.

Children's Television Sweatshop, more like.

The proposition that people ought to be nice to each other is much more palatable when framed as a mandate to condemn the not-nice.

I don't avoid women, Mandrake . . . but I do deny them my essential jazz standards.

McSweeney's does seem to have a weakness for empty cleverness, but I guess I do too. I'm reading a McSweeney's book right now, David Byrne's How Music Works, and really enjoying it. It's engaging and well researched in addition to coming from the point of view of someone who is actually David Byrne. Also, it has a…

Fair enough. We're not talking about light beer, though. It's whiskey. If someone says to me, "here, drink this whiskey and watch this Will Ferrel movie," I'm going to sit there drinking whiskey and watching a Will Ferrel movie. I guess what I'm saying is that Will Ferrel makes me laugh about as consistently as…

Call me a knuckle-dragging philistine, but if it makes me laugh or gets me drunk, then I give you leave to pour it into my bowl or hook it to my entertainment center, respectively, or, no, the opposite of respectively.

My wife adamantly vetoed Oedipa for some reason.

That phenomenon was discovered and named, "Food Boner," by John Goodman as Wilfred Brimley nearly 13 years ago. Keep up with the literature, man.