From the Reading Comprehension Tees

To answer your question, man o man I’m not nuts. I alluded to a change in public viewing habits, but now I’ll be more specific. The ratings drop can be attributed in part to factors like cord-cutting, streaming, and the growth of products like Red Zone. Yet even with that in mind, 17 of the Top 20 network programs…

You could say he was............

Someone on Twitter said it’s MC Hammer’s pants, and she’s wearing them upside down as a blouse.

I’ve got nothing to add, except Fuck Curt Schilling with a rusty garden tool.

‘Get me Jon Gruden!’

So the Red Sox are still stealing signs then?

Nobody thought it was strange that the titles of two of his collections were “Tous Les Yeux Sur Moi” and “Strictement Pour Mes Niggas” 

This is the problem when your data security is lax.

Reche Caldwell nods, eyes wide in agreement.

I have nothing to say about the article per se, but maybe you guys could talk to the genius who decided that a “Skyn” condom ad was the appropriate choice to show in a story about child sex abuse?

How much longer until Deadspin starts covering eScorts?

It’s a little known fact that Antonio Gates played basketball in college. Maybe the Charges can use that to their advantage this season.

Blah blah blah. Whatever.

A front loaded NFL contract that they had no intention of honoring? They must have thought the NIH was a player.

Also, Patrick died on his way back to his home planet.

Patrick has been fired for not referencing the extensive real-world history of ballistas being used to kill flame-breathing magical lizards the size of 747s.