On behalf of everybody everywhere: It cost twenty million dollars to make a movie about talking cylinders? And they still had to shortchange the animators to finish it?

I predict that people who enjoy the prequels will see this movie, and people who do not enjoy the prequels will not see this movie. Meanwhile, people who enjoy film will bemoan the diminished state of the documentary as a genre.

Patton Oswalt has a great story about Down Periscope in his memoir, Silver Screen Fiend. He doesn't dish any dirt on the cast or crew (mostly because they all were pretty cool by his account), but the story he recounts about how they solved a problem that arose during production almost made me want to see the movie…

Yeah. Weird…

I don't disagree, but I guess what I was trying to convey how weirdly (in retrospect) the Drew Carey Show writers fumbled with the character of Steve. It was like they didn't have a firm grasp of the differences between drag, transvestism and transgenderism, and they seemed to believe the terms were interchangeable.…

Who needs the Internet when "retro" television networks like Laff air this program four times a day all week? They must run the series in its entirety every few months. You're more likely than not to see that audition montage while flipping through channels.

To be fair, they did make that one guy disappear:

… And they just lost me.

I much prefer "The End" with a question mark dramatically appearing rather than "To Be Continued." With the former, it's like even the filmmakers themselves don't know if there will be another movie!

Truly, the only actor capable of filling the massive void left by the untimely demise of Paul Walker is Dame Helen Mirren (I'm only half-joking). Good for her.

Celebrating 30th Anniversaries of Movies Shouldn't be a Thing, Internet

Someday, I'll get my cable series based on Lawrence Block's Keller novels. Someday…

Wait, the premier campus comedy for eggheads isn't Kicking and Screaming?

They already made a "Die Hard" ripoff called Skyscraper. It starred Anna Nicole Smith. Unless this one is a shot-for-shot remake, but with The Rock in a blonde wig and breast implants, I'm out.

Disappointed that none of my suggestions were selected. Also noting a distinct lack of hip hop on the list. Positive K's "I Got a Man" demands to be covered as a duet!

I'll see it, mainly because it's a small-scale summer movie where the stakes don't involve the survival of the human race.

The porno title will be Rogue Bone, duh. I gotta do everything around here? Sheesh!

Anybody else read this roundtable discussion and imagine the writers inside TV screen-shaped panels?

This movie has one of the greatest bad theme songs of all time. I must possess it.

Actually, that jump was real. They digitally removed a part of the bridge to make it appear to be under construction. I don't remember if the bus' wheels ever leave the ground during that sharp turn (if we're thinking of the same scene), but that sounds an awful lot like a scene from The Living Daylights where Timothy…