Don’t let me stop you!

DANGER WILL ROBINSON

Ok, while I was going insane I stumbled in this:

“Did your professor also have a string of pearls hung next to the article...”

“Cousins shouldn’t bread.”

I’m guessing he’s not going to my parents’ house, then. My mother will cuss enough for a whole fucking basketball team of whores!

I don’t get it . . . What’s strange about a bunch of white people at a white power rally?

Non-pet people totally don’t get this. I talk about my cats the way other people talk about their babies, and I get SO many dirty looks and eye rolls. But... like, I spent a significant chunk of my life with my cats, and I love them, and they’re sweet, and they do funny things that I want to talk about. Also, I post…

I lived with a girlfriend for 4 years, we had adopted a cat, dog & turtle who were all abandoned. She got a great new job in another state, we were looking for places but nobody would let us take all 3. She said we should give them up. It honestly shocked me she would say that, instantly in my head I thought “Bitch,…

He’s Grant from Queensland and he’s here to help.

Suck out whatever’s in the umbilical cord and feed it to both baby and mother.

And the sausage sizzle. Don't forget the sausage sizzle!

I can provide some Brian Dust for a little bit cheaper

This was true for me in Oregon, too. I was so familiar with all my schools’ nurses. I can’t imagine a school without one. Who’s gonna give you raisins and put a heating pad on your stomach when you fake a belly ache to get out of P.E. on any day other than rainbow parachute day?

One out of three Egyptian gods agrees!

Make sure to hold on to your children really tightly as you walk in to your doctor’s office though.

I have found the holy trinity.