“REEEEEAAAAP, ASSFUCKERS. REAAAAAP.”

Why are so many on this site so happy to mock a person like Tomsula? Hard work, modesty, never giving up should be attributes we admire. He has worked harder than any of us and deserves better than constant ridicule.

“Fat people don’t know they’re fat because the chemicals in their brain make them think they’re attractive. (Is this a peer-reviewed study, and can I see?)“ = hilarious, also. This whole piece is filled with an easy, quick wit. Is Jezebel hiring because I’d read the hell out of anything Hale writes!

I’m starting to think that Kobe Bryant might be a bit of an asshole.

It is not a technicality. The cameras are centered behind the end zones such that the referee will ALWAYS have a better view than what could be provided on replay, unless the ball passes either behind or in front of one of the uprights (e.g., not above the goal posts) to clearly show the ball was between or outside of…

+53

So we get to the final showdown in Empire, and just as Vader is saying the money line, my kid mindlessly asks, “Hey, is Darth Vader Luke’s dad?” AS Vader is revealing it.

Cam Newton is that guy that has the hot girlfriend, is super smart, never stutters, never trips on a curb, never screws up. And you hate him because on top of all that, he’s done absolutely nothing except be gracious and kind to everyone. That, and he’s so friggin’ likeable! So you are forced to hate him, only because…

Because if there’s anyone I trust to prevent blunders, it’s the NFL league office.

Are we still treating basketball as a sport? Seriously, once they started ignoring travieling, I was nearly done. Then, once they made it a felony to touch a “star,” they totally lost me. Basketball is wrestling without the finishing move.

Ha! I understand Drew’s role, certainly. But if other people are actually struggling with this, well, I’m here to help.

Best show in the world that no one has ever watched.

My dad’s solution was a detailed spiel about quantum mechanics and wormholes. Apparently this is not typical.

I remember waking up to my mom leaving money under my pillow, but pretending to still be asleep. The next night at dinner, I dropped my fork dramatically and said “OK. The jig is up.” And proceeded to explain why my mom and dad were big fat liers. Looking back on it now, I think the pained looks of remorse on their…

Most likely they only think the 12 year old believes.

Jesus, why does Gay have to be so flamboyant?

I really don’t see much room for commentary on women’s success here, though, accidental or otherwise. It’s more about how social media and presenting an idealized image of our lives has become so all-consuming.

I doubt he thinks all the victims wanted it and are lying. I bet you anything his though process goes like this: Each individual time he assaulted one of those women he was doing something wrong. But not that wrong. Not bad-guy level wrong. Because how much suffering could one little encounter with his penis cause a…

Well, they’ve never gone wrong giving it to a German chancellor before.

Ugh....please, please, don’t start.