I’m already in that coven, and always have been. You would not believe how I got teased in my teen years. Well guess who looks good for her years now, bitches!

SPF30 is some melanin haver shit. Us true day walkers require SPF50+

OR JUST BE PALE THATS OKAY TOO JOIN OUR COVEN IN THE SHADE WITH THE SPF30

I agree with you. As an educator I have seen my share of violent kids and it is not pretty even with TRAINED people around to handle it. I can’t imagine being responsible for a plane full of people in the air and having a parent threaten you that their daughter will “have a meltdown and scratch people,” if you don’t…

I think he should have to play the first 4 games with a ball COMPLETELY deflated... Like ur dad makin u smoke the whole pack when he catches you smoking cigs! Ha!

nb4 “We hit into triple plays the right way.”

Deflated balls. Testicular fortitude. A network of dicks. Sensing a theme.

I remember my dad using that phrase as a kid in the 80’s. Maybe Foley popularized it to some extent, but I'm pretty sure that variation of intestinal fortitude has been plenty common long befor Foley.

Hey, Ogre, when did the Alpha Beta house get Wifi?

Mario themed moustache ride.

She was a law student at 19? We got ourselves a law Doogie Houser.

I’m not sure this is actually a bad attitude for a police officer. Let me explain. If I’m a police officer and I feel like I have to “solve” domestic violence, I know I can’t –– so maybe I disengage. I tell them to lock the door. On the other hand, if I’m a police officer and I feel like all I have to do is keep the…

TMQ folds its tent and steals off into BIG INTELLECT. As usual, I recommend you talk to everyone you know about why football is evil. Take long walks, especially on 4th down. Attend junior college football games of any division, if only to see what real hard work looks like. Appreciate the beauty of scantily-clad…

In communist russia the pole positions you

Then maybe it would behoove people to sign pitchers that can in fact hit. You don’t see dedicated free throw shooters just because a center is a liability a the charity stripe.

no fuck you for your automatic assumptions about a stranger's guilt without proof you millennial fuckwad.

It’s spelled correctly in the complaint. The typo is Jezebel’s.

So he was actually found guilty of the rape? Or was he found to have not done it? Because your answer to that should indicate your next steps. If you want to automatically just say fuck all men accused of rape regardless of evidence and trials, then you Can’t get mad when people say fuck all women because they all…

Every time Gawker fails to warn me that a link leads to Jezebel, I end up wondering what fucking insane universe I've fallen into in the comments. And then I look at the link and see "Jezebel.com" and realize what happened.

How are you even allowed to write on this subject after you were exposed to be a petulant child with no ability to reason logically after the UVA hoax?