Ironic that the peacock is the mascot of NBC, and the woman being murdered is the mascot of CBS.

Thanks, Obama!

That’s copyrighted from my upcoming YA mystery, “Gary Ma’gary and the Hairy Dingleberry.”

They mean “ping” the way Sean Connery used it in The Hunt for Red October. “One ping only, pleesh.”

To prevent kneeling at the end of the game, the rule should be that the national anthem plays constantly from the two minute warning until the end of regulation. Any player who kneels during that time not only is out of the game, they get their citizenship revoked.

An easier to administer version of the extra field goal point rule would be any field goal attempt when the line of scrimmage is at the defender’s 35 yard line or farther is worth 4 points. No using extra long snaps to set up kicks from bonus point range, you have to start your play from the bonus zone.

When you get rid of a child predator in your employ, telling the next employer that the person is a child predator is basically admitting that the person preyed upon children while in your employ, which will hurt in a lawsuit. Alternatively, the predator can say it is all defamatory lies, which will hurt in a…

It’s not just on her to leave, it’s also on him to make her leave. As soon as she said she was feeling forced he should have thanked her for the evening, put her in an Uber, and blocked her number.

Even if people are willing to overlook the fact that his actions were porny and gross, it was her statement that she didn’t want to feel forced that should have been the unquestionable blazing alarm that what he was doing was, at a minimum, not cool.

I’m guessing that his hand is hideously bruised. But whatever it is, I don’t get why he has to hide it. It doesn’t matter to anyone except gamblers. What his hand looks like on Friday is irrelevant. All that matters is how he plays on Sunday.

I knew that bull terriers would rip your face off if they think they smell peanut butter, but I didn’t know that they would do so because they were insulted.

The only animals the zoo should be allowed to name after her are polar bears and Emperor penguins.

Apparently a lot of people defended his behavior and/or covered it up. It’s not like he started behaving like this on a Tuesday and got fired on Wednesday. It went on for years. It would not be out of the question for someone who benefited from his power and was not subjected to his harassment would be sad to see him…

Agreed. The one explanation that makes the most sense to me is that he did not want to draw any kind of penalty. In that situation I’d be especially wary of a make up call, because the officials had boned the Vikings a couple of times in the last few minutes.

I think that would strip away the thing that makes this so genius, which is his utter nonchalance. A WWF heel needs to be amped up to 11. Jalen would go out there and refuse to raise his voice. “Well, I don’t know what to say. Hulk Whatshisname says it’s lights out for me, but what is that even supposed to mean? Maybe…

Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, the producers here at Black Mirror are unable to accept unsolicited story ideas from the Internet.

I look forward to you being interviewed by Bob Costas during the Olympics coverage.

He’s not like Steve Bannon, out there trying to suck his own cock.

It was watching the final season of Red Oaks after watching S2 of Stranger Things that I realized: Paul Reiser is a goddamn national treasure. He brings such subtlety to each character he plays that no matter how you describe any character (evil scientist, rich asshole, etc.) you have to append the phrase “but kinda…

For nonchalant in the face of slaughter, check out Leia comforting Luke over the loss of the weird old homeless guy he’s known for two days while she herself should be grieving for her family and all her friends and the billions of her people who died when her planet was blown up in front of her face.