If you’re not a racist piece of dog shit then you’re doing more than enough.

Also a solid name for a sex position.

You win the Internet today.

Regular perm? I’m pretty sure it was that curly when it arrived from the factory.

It’s not a rug, it’s the pelt of an opossum that died from an advanced STD.

Jesus, that ring is vulgar AF. Even Cruella De Vil would be like, “whoa, that’s over the top.”

Do we know how much actual money would be lost by actual players if the NFL eliminated Thursday games? It’s not like it would be a cut in the total number of games played each season, it’s just that the Thursday games will be broadcast on Sunday instead.

What if you are a feminist woman who transitions to a man? Does that mean you are not allowed to call yourself a feminist anymore? Even though you have been degraded and humiliated simply because of biology, and probably suffered even more than most women because you are trans?

You sound like such a perfect combination of moron and chickenshit that you should probably be playing for USC.

I will read it again because I have a weird fascination with Caity Weaver. Like, how can someone so hilarious and insightful and talented not be a major star? She should have her own show on MSNBC or something.

This is some quality fucking trolling right here!

If you don’t like a review, why not just stop reading that reviewer and stick to sites you know will affirm what you already believe. Or start your own. I think the domain FellatingTheWalkingDead.com is still available.

“Would you like to kill a couple of servants with machetes and fuck in their blood?”

Yes there is. They could have brought the proper communications equipment. They could have turned back to Honolulu when their phone went overboard, however the fuck that happened.

“You don’t eat or sleep or mow the lawn, you just fuck your uncle all day long.”

Yeah! One little bad thing happens with a gun, and all of the sudden people act like all ammosexuals are to blame! We should be allowed to fuck our guns in peace and not be hunted down because of that singular bad thing that happened that one time.

Pretty sure Monica did find the dress stain to be funny, hence the “spinach dip” comment. Pretty sure Clinton didn’t think it was all that funny, given that the DNA was the thing that forced him to stop denying his action (though he did keep telling lies about the whole thing).

What does it feel like to have such a tightly puckered butthole?

Not true. Sometimes just making a ruckus can stop the threat, by attracting bystanders or making the attacker fear that bystanders will come by. Sometimes the attacker might just give up and search for easier prey.

What kind of maniac moves to a new town and then starts listening to local sports talk radio?