Man up? I don’t think that’s accurate at this point.

This is such an important comment, and it covers so much ground.

In fact that is the case. http://gawker.com/pure-america-m…

I’m not sure if your second comment was because you think I don’t believe (like ad_infinitum) that there are happy monogamous couples. I neither said or believe that. Of course I can only know what people tell me, who really knows what goes on behind closed…

THIS! While some of the advice he gives (The price of admission) he is really problematic. I guess the whole a broken clock is right twice a day is very accurate in regards to him.

JFC you’re full of yourself. I can’t speak to what someone else said but you seem fine doing so. I am going to copypasta so there is no confusion,

A good analogy would be a closeted homosexual in a heterosexual relationship—in fact, we had a good example of that recently where the overwhelming response is that Gawker had “ruined this guy’s life,” regardless of the fact that he also made the choice to attempt an extramarital affair. Human beings are complicated…

i think the assumption that everyone that signed up on that site cheated is wrong i think you made some assumptions. sometimes people say what they mean but i have no dog in this fight you can both feel like youre right

I mean, I think analyzing the reasons for human behavior rather than simply, or exclusively, qualifying that behavior is a big part of liberal/progressive thought and values—it’s crucial. When someone steals, you don’t just chop of their hands and go about your day, you analyze and address the circumstances which…

fwiw i know your a regular on here but it does seem that you either misunderstood or you’re being obtuse.

That’s not the part I took issue with, it’s the reflexive vilification without an exploration of the circumstances that lead a person to make a particular decision.

Regardless of what Dan Savage thinks, you are completely missing the point here. The point isn’t that the cheating is political in some way, it’s that most people exist within social constructs that have the potential to make it really difficult to be honest with themselves, let alone those around you. Immediately…

I have ONLY dismissed you and upthread I said I did.
So if you’re responding to what I actually said, please show me where I said everyone or where I mentioned anything about cheating.

I said it was a waste of our time to continue since you kept saying I was saying things I didn’t. I never said everyone and I never even mentioned cheating. Both of your responses to me, were filled with things I didn’t say. I only wrote a few sentences and I didn’t use big words. If you want to discuss the actual…

No, people are pressured into thinking that they have to be in monogamous relationships. At least in the U.S. Just because you can sleep around and do whatever you want doesn’t mean there aren’t millions upon millions of people ready to heap scorn on you for doing so. Puritanical views are extremely pervasive in our…

Right. I feel like some people are being willfully obtuse on this one.

That’s how I read the post as well, which is why I said I was hoping this situation would open a larger dialog. But man people are defensive. I don’t see gloriaestefanwasright advocating for people to cheat or excusing their behavior.

That is really disingenuous. Just as there is unwritten pressure to be Christian, love football and other things that are “all American” there is certainly unwritten pressure to be in a committed relationship with ONE person. Polygamy is outlawed and frown upon (for some valid reasons, I might add), polyamory is seen…

I think that’s what she’s saying though. If people realized they didn’t have to be monogamous and find people with whom they could be in open or poly relationships with, they would be happier and it would lead to less betrayal because folks were being true to themselves and honest with others. Monogamy isn’t a bad…

I’ve been thinking that it would be great if this opened a greater dialog on monogamy and relationships. I mean how many of these people are Christians who think that marriage is between one man and one woman? I am betting the number is pretty high. Clearly what we say, is not what we do.

Newsflash - people have a really hard time being in long term monogamous relationships and society’s weird, unnecessary and CONSTANT shaking finger makes it harder for people to just be able to admit that to themselves, and find relationships that DO work for them. But SURPRISE when you guilt them into obeying…