wait, Air Force One crashed?

the Dessert Faux?

“bag-on-bag crime” yep I’m ded 

the year I turned 15 my dad traded in his 1966 Ford Mustang (electric blue) for... a 1983 Ford Granada. I never got to sit behind the wheel of that thing, like my six older brothers and sisters did. And no I have never forgiven him. There’s a lot I haven’t forgiven him for but that was probably my first clue that he…

“no Pluto, you’re not a planet”

wait wait wait we’re getting a Delilah show before we get the story we’ve all been waiting for, the one about Jack and Diane? sheesh 

we take you live to the scene

there’s nothing wrong with telling the host “don’t seat us in X’s section” or if it’s open seating, definitely eat at the bar. And if she hijacks your table somehow the first thing you say when she asks “what can I get you HON” is “a manager, please.” 

“Fat Bottomed Girls” by Queen. 

totally missing the carnival from Sam and Max Hit The Road -- ride the Cone of Despair! -- and that fabulous rollercoaster from the remake of House on Haunted Hill where the first fake car derails in front of the real car...

here ya go you can borrow mine

#permitpatty identified:

I would have loved a Rat Pack era version of this, with Shirley MacLaine, Liza Minelli, and a peppy Nancy Sinatra.

I went looking for spare fucks in the couch cushions, came up with this

basically, this

as god is my witness

weird HP fanfic

I think I figured it out. Be Best is not Be The Best or Be Your Best because it’s more like Be First. If you’re not first, you’re nothing. Trying is not an option. If you’re not best, you never will be.

this. I feel the same way about anything Jeffrey Jones is in, which was half of my teenage movie list (Beetlejuice, Ferris Bueller, Without A Clue to name a few) the moment they show up on screen or open their mouths it takes me out of the work like a record scratch.