What is the point to an unfrosted Pop Tart? If you are eating Pop Tarts as health food, you have made bad life choices.

Hell no! Chocolate Fudge is the best! Fight me!

I like when restaurants call them “chicken strips” or something so I can order them and still feel like an adult. Sort of.

I didn’t spend years developing an adult digestive system and a dad bod so that I could NOT eat Cheetos.

I’m addicted to the parmesan ones. People at work always here me open the bag and come begging. MY GOLDFISH! GET YOUR OWN!

Its that non - nutritive cereal varnish. Works great on sleds too.

bachelor chow.

Man, you have no sense of nostalgia taste. I love meatball spagettioes the couple times decade I eat them.

The day pizza rolls and bagel bites stop being good is the day I stop being alive.

We did. My mom called it “Chinese Noodle Soup” and we’d add frozen peas and carrots to it, add more water and it fed three of us.

Cheddar Goldfish uber alles.

You’d think the mayor would appreciate somebody who didn’t dwell on Rio’s problems.

You are depriving everyone of Torch’s fantastic prose when they covered this story on Jalopnik the other day:

That is one event that is permanently etched into my mind. I woke up to a friend calling me:

“Turn on the TV!”
“What? Why? It’s like 6:30!”
“Just do it!”
“Ok. God. What channel?”
“Any channel.”

I remember that; and the way he said it. It gave me chills. He was right. Any channel. Smoke pouring out of one of the WTC…

Challenger Explosion. Watched it live in kindergarten. When my teacher, Mrs. Hendrickson burst into tears, I knew some shit had gone down.

Cocaine is totally organic, too, right? Comes from plants? Probably better for the baby.

That can certainly be considered child abuse, but it no longer counts as a crime against the dog.

This makes absolute sense and my heart aches for this man. Having said that, that's a fucking amazing picture.

The attitude seems to be that “whatever I say is my right and my business, and if it offends you, that’s your problem and you’re just weak.” Yet they are oblivious to the fact that other people have feelings and rights, including the right to say, “that offends me.” And the greatest irony is that these tend to be the…

I would love to know exactly when death threats became the thing to do to express disapproval. [sigh]