hold on please I’m driving and will respond when safe

So, You are talking about my former boss Troy and a guy I used to work with named Jesus. I think I get it.

Jesus is a biblical figure. Troy and Greece had a war a long time ago. They aren’t related, but each carries its own historical significance. Saying “Jesus” is and has been for quite some time an expression of disapproving surprise, almost like “holy shit.” But one word instead of two. Referencing the Trojan war is…

There was this motherfucker at a dog park, in Cincinnati (can’t remember the specific one, on the west side of the city).

This isn’t going to get nearly as many stars as it deserves.

Oh yeah.

in the trash can

This is absolutely what you should do.  I bring poop bags when I take my dog for a walk, and at this point I think picking up your dog’s shit is such common knowledge that people who don’t are advertising their lazy selfish natures.

Be like Gallant:

The good news is that both “good” and “marginally better” are cumulative functions. 0.00000001% better may not seem like a lot, but if 100,000,000 people all collectively decided to be 0.00000001%, the math says that would make the world 10% better.

I always clean up after my dog, it’s the least amount of effort you can do to be good, and then I toss them up into the gutters or window sills of those I do not like because I represent the duality of man.   

You could just say, pickup random piece of trash with your hands. Like a capri sun left by some little shit. They tend to be self contained and you could easily throw it in the proper bin wherever you happen to be headed. No one is asking you to take a 10 garbage bags and clean a 10 block perimeter. If it’s too gross…

In my experience, most Prius drivers drive them like they stole them, but I don’t mind because that means they’re not attaining their optimal fuel efficiency.

Every almost-fight I’ve almost gotten in as an adult has been over people not picking up after their dogs (or letting them run wild and disrupt wildlife and other people in “no dogs allowed” or leash only areas). At some point I guess I decided I couldn’t abide that behavior without mentioning it, and my god do people…

In my experience, if you’re worried about being a good person, you’re at least already half-way there. You know Donald Trump doesn’t lie awake at night worried about the example he’s setting. Jeff Bezos doesn’t wonder what sort of impact he’s having on the world. White supremacists and fundamentalists don’t worry…

I loaded a portable AC unit into an elderly lady’s car for her coming out of the store last week, and it genuinely made MY day. I should do that more often.

It’s dope that he picks up his own dog’s shit? I guess noodles was right, the bar is set really fucking low.

If _your_ dog poops, then pick that shit up. Bring some poop bags with you when you take your good boy for a walk. If you’re out for a walk and see someone else’s dogshit on a lawn, you have my express permission to think “What a colossal asshole that guy was” and keep walking.

that seems like a lot

Be a good person. The bar is set really fucking low.