The article says he’s an attorney, plus he’s communicating with media, which tells me he’s not some random isolated farmer in the countryside. And he’s offering livestock for the teen daughter of one of the most powerful men on the planet. No. Dude is a delusional creeper. This is like 42-year-old me offering five…

Is he a Duggar?

You’re right, he’s not as committed as the werewolf from twilight.

The Obamas will be accepting this generous offer, right? He’s been into her since she was 9 years old, so that’s true love right there.

Does anyone else find slight comfort when the crazy person in the story isn’t from the US? It’s a small reminder that everyone on this earth is just a little bat shit crazy. No country is immune.

I don’t know how these girls cope with all the bullshit that surrounds them and their parents.

“I got interested in her in 2008”

Um...in the wake of all the Duggar mess this is both 1) hilarious and 2) incredibly sad/scary because this man sounds unhinged. Far away? Sure, but unhinged as fuck. I hope the US Embassy takes some measures to track this man’s movements at least until Obama is out of office.

“I got interested in her in 2008,”

there goes your long weekend

up to three days per dose

Taking a drug that’s known to spike your body temperature in one of the most uncomfortably hot parts of the country?

I’M COMING TO YOUR APARTMENT WITH A SET OF STAR WARS DVDS AND A ROLL OF DUCT TAPE AND YOURE NOT MOVING UNTIL YOU WATCH ALL OF THEM

you are failing at #2 and HOW IS #3 POSSIBLE

My summers as an adult with some disposable income and a steady work schedule (WITH PTO BITCHES!!!!!!!!!) are far more enjoyable than my college summers which were spent much like yours, working my fucking ass off.

What you haven’t seen is the rest of my list:

I am legit confused by this because my college summers were spent either working or doing more school. The jobs were all terrible, there was no vacation, everything paid horribly. Worst summers ever. Field school was the best fun I had, and that was 12 hour days of manual labour. But at least it was interesting manual…

My sister-in-law does not shave her armpits. When we have family reunions (like we are this summer), I cannot stop staring at it and how horribly hot and uncomfortable it looks. This is especially true in the 90 degree, no breeze, middle of nowhere country.