Can someone enlighten me as to everyone’s hate boner for ranch dressing? If you’re complaining that it’s fatty, so is mayo. If it’s too sweet or some shit, so is barbecue. I mean it has no individual trait that other dressings don’t.

Apparently not. Every nerd I knew jizzed their pants upon hearing that Shenmue 3 was going to exist.

Unless you have a voice that will summon birds and butterflies from nowhere like a Disney princess and melt the hearts of the most hardened warriors and all that, you should not be singing in public. The vicarious embarrassment felt by everyone around you is so palpable that the entire audience is about to combust.

It’s not a conspiracy theory. That’s what it is. It’s someone’s legs, with the tops of the thighs pressed against glass or something.

While I totally agree with the fact that dolphins are pretty aggressive sometimes, I’m going to be that Fun At Parties lady here about a pet peeve of mine: dolphins do not rape each other, nor do they “take hostages” or do other criminal things.

Here’s a good summary.

I think we need to go full on emotional appeal to counter what is already there from anti-vaxxers. Have pictures of children dead from diphtheria and measles on the posters/etc. Have big scary (but true) statistics on mortality and permanent damage rates on people with diseases like polio. Don’t lie about it, because…

Maybe I’ve been around different areas of the internet.

Femininity is also hella fragile. Have you seen women either flee in fear or get viciously indignant at the slightest idea that they could be any less than thin? Humans in general are bad at taking what they perceive to be criticism, whether or not it actually *is*.

Not to crap on the sexism part of all this, which is definitely present, but I bet that if you were to expand this to “any trait the person direly wants to have,” regardless of whether it’s gendered or not, you would get the same kind of lies. Go to a nerd and convince them they’re not smart on your test and, male or…

I found myself sniffling when he paused, gathered himself, and started singing. Obama is one of the very few politicians I’ve seen speak who genuinely engages me, and whether or not he writes his own speeches, he has a great way with words as well as a sense of humor. It’s a shame to me that this is his last year. I…

Well I guess technically this would get me horny, but I get horny if I drink at all. :P

“This brownie is yummy, it’s the greatest brownie in the world...”

I want to be part of a sport that lets me beat the shit out of people who insult me or my family. Sign me the fuck up.

I sure want a body like hers. Whew.

Alas, they cannot be clicker-trained. Or can they? :P

My family is full of Southerners and they still do this. Oddly, they will blab and ask about the most trivial things...but then wait a sec, what, my uncle’s got to have a triple bypass surgery, WAIT WHAT WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME EARLIER?! Or my dad just shows up for a routine visit and is like “oh right don’t hug me too…

I sure would.

Please tell me you made this up. Please.

I am pretty sure Chris Pratt can do no wrong. Holy cow.