Obama has so much burn that everyone around him spontaneously ignites. It’s great.

Sooo...pushup bra. We’ve known about these for ages.

Sometimes I just wake up and it’s all over. That’s, uh, how it goes.

I get a drape and get told to take all my clothes off, since they also inspect my breasts for lumps etc.

I get so confused when doctors ask me about this. Like really, you expect me to keep exact track of my period? Even when I’m on birth control, fuck, I don’t remember. Either it’s happening now or it’s not, that’s the best you’re getting.

I’m not embarrassed to go to a gyno, but I hate doing it. Speculums are uncomfortable and kind of painful, because I’m not aroused at all. I hate tampons for a similar reason — the only things that go up there are things for sexytimes. Nothing else. Ugh.

You were doing so well until this: “

I’m honestly surprised nobody has taken a sniper rifle and removed this dude. I wouldn’t, but somebody out there would.

Please. Please put this actually in the menu.

I totally believe this is true. People in the SJW arena find opinions from the in-group much, much more convincing. Usually the internet wants anyone not in the in-group to shut up because “they can’t know what it’s like.”

Ooooof, you’re married. There goes my “just break up with him” thing. If you’re in a sexless relationship and sex is very important to you, you have every right to break up with someone when they say they refuse to even attempt to return to the person who aroused you.

It’s because the dress isn’t fitted *at all.* Of course you’re going to look fat in it. Anyone who isn’t a twig will look fat in it. It’s puffy and not fitted and is going to look like a sack on anyone.

It’s worse on any of the social justice threads like ROYGBIV. Disagree with them once and they will fucking destroy you.

I’ve thought about it! It’s because I find them unattractive, many of them can’t get out and do strenuous physical things with me, and they’re going to die at like 50 of diabetes.

This is basically true. If you can’t find a STEM job, you’re not looking hard enough. If you paid for a degree not in STEM, you did it wrong for today’s economy.

GREW ROOTS

Isn’t this basically impossible? If you can get it in, you can get it out. Unlike the rectum, the vagina is only going to stash stuff so far in.

I totally agree. I really want to know what human milk tastes like.

Yes, we know you’d rather have your magical unicorn pope, but this is the guy we have, and he’s orders of magnitude better than we could have expected.

I’m pretty for this plan.