If you think “Jenner” instead of “Minogue” when you hear “Kylie,” you are clearly not living your best life. Why are you needlessly torturing yourself and denying yourself the better parts of our existence?

What’s that? Take it away, Tim!

Ohio is the Florida of the midwest. The sooner you accept this, the better.

I hope this person found a new, better job quickly. If they didn’t and I owned a company I’d hire them on the spot. No application. No resume. No interview. Their former manager has already sold me on them as someone I would absolutely want to employ.

These comments are bad comments and you should feel bad.

...what?

That’s a picture of Adam and Christina Grimmie.

Are you serious?

It matters because they weren’t murdered for being people in a fucking nightclub. They were murdered because they were, or were perceived to be, LGBT people in a fucking gay nightclub.

Labels matter when people fucking murder us because of them.

Yeah, that’s where we are now. No antibiotics, but a sterile pad, neosporin, and a bandage wrapped around her body to keep it on. It’s slipping as she moves, but it’s still mostly on there, so I’m not messing with it. I don’t think they’ll be home tonight, so I’m just going to let her rest tonight and see where we are…

I feel like I need to clarify a bit. I don’t know that this happened today. It could have happened yesterday, because I didn’t see her at all yesterday for the first time in the past month.

My other neighbors said that these neighbors left after she was injured, but I don’t know how accurate that is. They were gone…

They have moved in now. I guess they actually own the house and had been renting it to other people for the past few years, but decided to move back in after the last tenant left.

I’m hesitant about calling the cops because they have another dogs. She’s a 10 month old pit bull that they have tied up outside. They seem…

I’m jumping into this one early because I don’t know what to do. This is going to be long because it’s been going on for the past month.

About a month ago, new people moved into the house next door. Sort of. They dropped a 12 year old dog off in the shed behind the house and left her. She got out and ended up at my…

For the love of all that is good and just, though - if you pick up some garbanzo flour and it has a hummus recipe on the package, ignore it. Don’t do it. Don’t make hummus with garbanzo flour. You don’t hate yourself this much. You don’t hate anyone you know this much.

Bob will come down from his stupid Red Mill and…

I don’t know if it’s been mentioned yet, but this video has been circulating since at least December 2015.

It’s not really new, but I expect more things like this to start happening regularly because of the bullshit laws being passed.

That’s...not what she’s saying at all?

She’s been fairly open about thinking the draft is altogether worthless and that military service should only be done on a volunteer basis because..well, see the above quote.

Given the choice between “draft only males” and “draft everyone,” when you want, “draft no one,” she’s…

It’s okay. Hypnotoad is going to fix everything.

All glory to the Hypnotoad.

I’d considered that, and when we finally get closer to November it will be easier to really judge the landscape. I’m in Mississippi, though, I think the only way we’ll matter is if the Republicans pull something silly and split the party by forcing Trump to run as an independent. If he has the Republican nomination…

‘Tis the beauty of our system.

I personally think our Electoral College approach is garbage, but they don’t let me make big decisions for the country. I don’t know how familiar you are with our system, but Wikipedia is here to explain the things I’d like to forget:

I’m definitely going to vote, but I’m writing in a vote for Hypnotoad because I live in a very red state that will go red no matter what, so my vote doesn’t really count.

Lifting! Time for my regular pop-in to suggest some Buff Dudes videos!

I’m not gonna lie: I love mayo. I’m not ashamed.

If you ever bring a banana and mayo sandwich near me, though, I’m going to throw you in a trunk with the “peas in guacamole” people and launch you all into the sun.