So, I’m not the only one who is most bothered by the fact that she found a psychologist who agreed to pour drain cleaner in her eyes to help her become blind, right? Like, holy shit what is this even...?

This will continue to happen. This is the new norm. This country is built on the idea that guns are sacrosanct. Violence is the solution to any problem. The most satisfying way to resolve anything perceived as a problem is through violence. After all, a problem can no longer be a problem if it no longer exists. Here’s…

But..but...Google!

Ten things that reinforce my decision to never go to a gym, ever.

I want to be sympathetic, but I just can’t. She went out of her way to leave a perfectly safe cabin and annoy the damn thing. She’s lucky it only wrecked her kayak as payment for the annoyance.

So if I want to stop being single, I have to text people?

Substitute “Zombies, Run! 5K Training” in for “Couch-to-5K” and this is basically my life for the past few months.

At this rate, I’m really never going to run out of reasons to love Hayley Atwell.

Labs are just weird. I spent a few summers with my aunt in Ohio and she had a friend with 3 labs. 2 were stereotypical food vacuums. They loved to eat and then lay around. The third one, though. She was weird. I’ve never seen a more muscular lab in my life. This dog always wanted to play. She would always bring you…

I knew I was in for trouble with my Doberman, Sirius, when he was about a year old. He got into the kitchen, opened the refrigerator, and managed to get out a jar of mayonnaise. He then somehow opened the jar and ate all of the mayo.

...as you do.

Seriously. I’ll use kale once in a while, but generally my whole view is that kale can go to hell. Spinach 5ever.

I can at least understand eating fried okra, but I’m not sure I consider that actually eating okra. It’s really hard to mess up the whole, “bread the thing then fry the thing then devour the thing” process, especially with okra since it’s nothing like the monstrosity that you started out with.

All I really got out of this was Totalbiscuit did a thing, again, where he massed his followers into an army and and turned them loose on someone until they completely broke that person, then just kind of shrugged, “Well that wasn’t my intention.” Throw in some baseless cry of censorship to go with all that righteous…

As a Mississippian, I will always prefer my method: “avoid okra at all costs.”

Do unexpected injuries in the midst of self-love count as sex injuries? Because if so I have one hell of a story that still haunts me to this day.

HamNo approves. Advice is solid.

Nick got a 5 year suspension because it’s the third time for the same fucking thing. He knows what is expected of him. He knows what’s allowed. The idea that I should have any sympathy for him when he’s reprimanded because he actively chooses to break the same rule over and over and over is beyond laughable.

Sure, Amber Rose is cool and all BUT RHODA FROM ELDERS REACT!#@

Except he totally didn’t say anything of the sort...?