Seriously, no one is talking about Britten’s forearms? Dude’s gonna have all the money he’ll ever need when they make a new Popeye movie for him to star in.

I’m really happy I’m not the only one.

So, I should love myself because I’m a fat dude and that makes me fuckable but I don’t love myself because society repeatedly tells me that I’m absolute garbage for being fat so I’m not fuckable. But if I’d accept that, as a fat dude, I’m worthy of love and totally fuckable, I’d become fuckable again?

But, wait. I…

I know the initial reaction is to think, “Good, he deserved it,” but, man. Once reality kicks in, I hope she escaped and got to a safe place far, far away. If not, I hope she’s not alive any more because no one deserves to suffer as much as she already suffered at their hands before this and I don’t want to even…

There are so many things in this story to be absolutely pissed off about, but Amazon selling some cyanide crystals isn’t one of them.

If he’s willing to bottom, sure. I have no standards anymore.

Really, though, she should look into suing herself for being Jan Brewer. Being Jan Brewer is a terrible thing for a human being to have to do.

I know it’s not nice, but I hate Elisabeth Hasselbeck and I’m not going to lose any sleep over how not nice that is.

Oh, she’s just being Miley.

http://www.volition.com/mystery.html

Oh . So that’s why I don’t have any friends.

I ended up watching both videos and I’m not sure how I feel. I didn’t actually want to watch either, but they both ended up autoplaying on pages. I don’t really want to see people losing their lives. It seems like I’ve seen way too much of that over the past few years. I’m not numb to it, but my reactions have…

If I ever die (and that’s a big if), I really wish I could just have my body launched out to float in space. I’ll settle for having my ashes just floating along forever, though.

I honestly cried watching this because my dad would have loved VR so much. He passed away in August 2012. I really hate that I’ll never be able to buy the consumer Rift when it comes out, or the Vive, and let him try them out and be amazed by them.

1995 was 60 years ago? I’m 70 now? I CAN FINALLY LIVE THE DREAM:

I think the tweet that followed is even more important:

I’ll just stick to my “cry in a corner somewhere instead of taking anything for pain” plan. It’s totally working out fine.

Britney is still awesome. Stop being wrong.

This seems pretty simple.

The best crunch is the one you never do. And Cheetos.