Hahaha!  Robert Smith succumbed to time and its linearity just like every other human being!

Yeah, his responses like this are often mistaken for gloom or him being an asshole, but really its just that he doesn’t care to engage in a lot of the fake/insipid aspects of fame and its delightfully refreshing in its honesty. I think Trent describes it perfectly in the speech he gave inducting them:

“As far as I can…

When you’re a Jet, you’re a Jet all the way.

40 years on and people are still harping on Robert with the same tired snarks about his weight, his hair, and his makeup. Just a heads up; you looked stupid making these sorts of childish remarks in the 80's and even more so in 2019. Regarding his weight: he’s turning 60 this year, sorry if his exercise regimen has…

Please. 2 of the 4 non Robert Smith current lineup members have 30 years in the band and the remaining 2 have 22 and 24 years respectively.

Thanks!  I’m going to have to find this alternate ending.

The only thing I can think of is:

I have nothing to add except that a few days ago I amended my moniker to reflect the recent Meghan McCain communiqué. A week from now no one will get this reference and I’ll have to change it again.

I walked down the aisle to Leather and Lace.  I don’t like you.

PS: I really want to say how much I loathe and despise this Yacht Rock moniker for music that I grew up listening to as a young kid in the 70s which was just basic FM radio and much of it quite good... clearly since Millennials seeming want to co-opt is as “cool” - unironically.

I mean, I want shorter sentences for things like "having pot" and "shoplifting". I'm ok with longer sentences for things like "pushing someone off a bridge" or "stabbing".

You can’t believe, in the age of our Cheeto-dusted reality-TV president, that Howard Stern still has a show on satellite radio? Frankly I’m just glad he’s not the White House communications secretary.

Nicolas Cage annuls marriage to Erika Koike just four days after they got married. [People]

I wonder if Baldwin has ever gotten treatment or medicine for depression. Depression, especially in men, can sometimes present itself as anger and mood swings. It's even more likely to present this way when the men have careers that require a level of high functioning and/or a certain level of social interaction. 

She’s not going to date you, Don. Give it a rest.

What’s with the random apostrophes in names these days? Tay’lor? Sha’ann?  You must all address me as Roo’Ty Too’TY from this day forward.

Yo - STOP BRINGING THESE SOCIOPATHS ON MORNING NEWS SEGMENTS. 

“So if you friend jumped off a bridge would you?”

Congratulations on leaving what is easily the most deranged comment I’ve ever received in my year of working at Jezebel lol. 

It doesn’t matter what size your labia is with this outfit. It matters whether you plan to move your legs more than one millimeter apart while wearing it. Because if your legs move, your labia move, and that bodysuit will end up cutting you in half in a way that is so painful that, you, being a man - can’t even…