Have you ever started your car, then left it running as you popped back into your house for a quick sec to grab something?

Buying a Honda Insight is still the worst decision he’s ever made, a problem somehow solved by the second worst decision he’s ever made.

You kiss your mother with that mouth? Your high school English teacher is weeping somewhere. Also your priest / rabbi / guru / swami / Perry White / Matt Hardigree (ok, maybe not him). This is the Fuelshark of headlines. Somebody set up a a GoFundMe for Patrick’s thesaurus. Patrick, that is a book that tells you other…

That’s pretty hardcore. But I would love a sunroof. BMW says I am weak and cars like this do not need such frivolous accoutrements.

#NotAllSidewalks

#BlackTopMatters

This is the greatest thing I have ever seen. Fuck street runners. “Oh the road is softer on my feet!” No, I hate you.

I think if I spent thousands of hours making a game, I’d code it so every NPC the illegal downloader passed flipped change at my character (even bosses), while they muttered things like “poor guy”, “here, buy yourself something to eat”, “sorry you are so hard up, don’t worry, things will probably pick up for you in…

No, it’s not okay. What about all the other businesses that could be if the taxes weren’t so high? Setting taxes high and then making tax break deals is just a mechanism to say who can and who cannot have a business within a government’s territory without admitting that’s what it is.

Am I the only one who thinks these headlines are arranged awkwardly??

Lots of people with shittier trucks that didn’t realize they were shitty just had a sad.

Sorry, I missed the part about her being murdered. Could you quote that for me?

Correction. Anyone’s life is less important than my property if they decide to mess with my property. I don’t make exceptions based on gender, sexual orientation, or color of skin.

Who do you think has a massive R&D budget and is interested in renewal energy? The same people that make money on selling oil - when the oil/gas industry is hurting, wind and solar R&D budgets are among the first to go.

God, I still love the Laker Bros gif so much. It’s even better in reverse.

Do yourself a favor and don’t listen to this advice from Zillow. Just pay attention to the other lifehacker articles that say to just live your life and be happy. Don’t live in a boring gray house.

First off, your fractions are off.

...BECAUSE THAT’S WHY!!! DAMN YOU, CLYDE!

What should they have done when they crashed and had their heads catapulted into the steering wheel/dashboard because the airbags didn’t deploy?