I would be fired on the spot if I was caught texting while in a client meeting, unless it was relevant to what we were working on and I needed the info immediately. There's no emergency that can't wait the two minutes it takes to ring up the customer. It's not like you can do anything about it anyway. 

There might be some royals there. My co-worker’s family is legit fancy and he went to Eton around the same time the princes did.

I actually have to go to one of these weddings next summer. My English co-worker is taking me as his plus one to his sister’s posh castle wedding. I basically have to dress like I’m attending a royal wedding in the morning and a white tie gala at night. 2 fucking outfits and one has to include a hat. My co-worker was…

Me too. I was raised by a Militant Etiquette Expert, so formal, to me, means black tie as well. Fortunately, I’ve known the bride at least well enough in almost all of the weddings I’ve attended that I can tell if she means ‘for the love of god, black jeans are NOT appropriate for a wedding, Dad’ or if she actually…

Yeah, at a completely open bar wedding, there are always going to be those choads who belly up to the bar and drain the stock of all of the good shit. That’s likely going to be Cousin Carol who is PISSED that she wasn’t asked to be a bridesmaid and the younger male guests sitting around her like vultures waiting for…

You forgot Cousin Carol’s mom, Aunt Linda wearing an age-inappropriate strapless gown that looks eerily similar to the bridemaids’ dresses. Linda spends the whole wedding mainlining tequila and drunkenly hitting on the groomsmen while Carol sucks down cosmo after cosmo trying to prospect a sugar daddy. Your mom is…

I’ve been in this wedding three times. One Lord of the Rings themed, one Renaissance Fair themed, one 'roaring 20s' themed. The first two were terrible. The last one was fun and the dress code was done to make sure all the male guests wore suits bc apparently some people were raised in barns and don't dress up for…

The nice thing about the capital district is that you’re 20-30 minutes from everwhere.

I went to college in Troy. I love going back to visit. The downtown area has improved so much in the last decade but hearing someone dream about living there is a first for me.

I've been saying this for years. Bernie has been relying on debunked economic theories to bolster his policies, knowing full well that most of his supporters aren't familiar with nearly 50 year old material. It's no different than Dump spreading fake shit.

Ugh. The intercept is such trash. 

So, I went down the rabbit hole this morning after watching the special last night and she mentions how her stage fright only exists when she does standup and not in front of the camera. I don't know. She seems exhausting.

I’m just... embarrassed for her. This was excruciating. I had to go watch an episode of Stranger Things to cheer myself up. If she's not getting some therapy, she definitely needs to get some therapy. This felt like a cry for help.

Yeah. It did not get better. It actually got worse. There are comedians who can mine their life misfortunes for laughs, but they have more self-awareness and talent than Jenny. I feel like a lot of her problems would be solved by a few afternoons volunteering at a homeless shelter. She might be…

I’m 12.5 minutes into the special and as a white woman in her early 30s, you would think I’m the target audience for this but clearly I am missing something and I have no trouble believing that she is the worst. But I will also hear stories if you are in a sharing mood.

I’m 4.5 minutes into her netflix special and I want to throw myself off the roof. Either from secondhand embarrassment or because her laugh is so annoying, I can’t tell.

***SNORT***

I saw the title of this post and screamed for my secretary to make us popcorn bc we were sitting on an interminable multi office conference call and this is exactly the entertainment we needed.

Hahahahaha. I REMEMBER the mountain dew controversy. Also wasn’t there something about Surge that was supposed to shrink testicles or something too?

Right on schedule! Thank you for your service, sir.