Honestly, it’s no one’s business why I’m on my phone, whether I’m answering a critical work email, reading a book, or commenting on this site. When did it become compulsory to engage with every person I meet? I’m paying the restaurant/bar to bring me my order, not to superficially engage with me. I’m tipping 20%…

Because small talk sucks and my face in my phone is an indicator that I don’t want to engage with you. Take. A. Hint.

Ssavage. And accurate.

Someone might want to check this guy’s parents’ basement for the dresses he made out of the skins of the girls he murdered. Just saying.

I read the original letter and then the responses to my staff (boss, interns, secretaries- all women) at lunch today and everyone was uniformly struck into horrified silence. Jaded women who have shrugged unsurprisedly through pee tape allegations, grown men getting away with fucking children, male co-worker stories…

That last band is a thing you made up, right?

Ina calls it a Palmier. I don’t argue with Ina.

Agree. I like nice restaurants, but not pretentious, experience restaurants. I’m way too irish catholic to sit through a $300 meal that consisted of 5 courses that might have been 1 bite of food each. And underwhelming food at that. 

I’ve got a busy job. I’m an attorney who travels internationally alot and my job easily takes over my life- with the same and some times more hours than this doctor. But I make time for the things I want to do (commenting on this site is a thing that comes to mind). If I wanted to communicate with someone, I would. If…

YUP!!!

Yeah, how did I know that this was going to devolve into a ‘my wife is getting fat! HELP!’ letter? Though, points to this dude, he really made a concerted effort to bury the lede before getting to the question he really wanted answered, which is, how do I un-fat my wife without having to change my life or self at all? 

One of my best friends has celiac. It took her terrible boomer mother in law nearly a decade to accept that gluten allergies are a real thing and then decided that she too had a gluten allergy. Terrible mother in law made a huge deal about her own imaginary gluten allergy to our server the last time we all went out…

In my experience, mothers of sons are super creepy. 

‘Dear' 

My dad used to call my brothers ‘Sport’ when they had performed some spectacular feat of dumbfuckery (which was often. They. Are. Dumb), as in ‘what were we thinking here, sport?’ or ‘I think that dope cigarette hiding under your pillow has set your bed on fire, sport’. He was a giant bear of a red-faced Irishman who…

I was the same. I was a lifeguard on the weekends for some extra cash, but working in my neighbor’s law office away from the other kids was a relief. Nobody loudly braying about stealing their dad’s beer and scoring weed from their deadbeat cousin/uncle/brother. Nobody awkwardly trying to hookup and causing drama that…

Yeah. All of this. My brother is a chef and had me waiting tables at a restaurant where he worked. It lasted a week before my dad overheard two guys at his favorite old white dude cocktail bar joking about raping the new leggy, ’jailbait’ at the restaurant where I worked and showed up in the middle of my shift to…

Ok, I think it’s time for you to stop, because you’re now embarrassing yourself. I’m somehow the pretentious one for suggesting that people suggest a path that is guaranteed to provide transferable skills, financial security, and occupational stability instead of rolling the dice on parlaying retail “skills” into an…

So we have a “polite” “hiring manager” who thinks clearing $700 a week is a six figure job and a sporadically employed blue collar worker arguing that an unskilled, stable entry level job with guaranteed career growth, job training, health and retirement benefits in a temperate, safe environment is undesirable because…

Yup, have done both. That's why I mentioned the banking. Neither waiting tables nor working retail imparts the skills and experience that starting off as a teller does.