I read that 2nd to last sentence picturing Ellie saying in a frantic "It's a cookbook!" kind of stressed out voice. Seemed to fit the piece nicely.

First, sorry you had to endure that. Second, I agree 100%. While people freely speculate on things, it must be said that families are like iceburgs—you can't see most of what goes on from above the water line/in public.

Snark is all well and good, but geez, the headline doesn't even describe what actually happened. EGR would never have let that get to the webpage.

Seriously. Anyone who thinks intentionally impaired reaction time while driving a car is cool is an idiot. Anyone who would do that IN A SCHOOL ZONE, on the first day when most of the kids haven't worked out where to walk yet is EXTRA STUPID. Selfish idiots. I'm glad no one was hurt.

THANK YOU
THANK YOU
THANK YOU

Forgive the following post, I'm moody and tired today:

As far as south Texas goes, the answers are: a) good luck finding a cosm. school for less that isn't really terrible. b) Yup, the good ones do—they train stylists to work with all the humans, not just some. c) Yup, the inspect the h*** out salons, to the point where the feel a bit hunted/persecuted (and fairly, I…

Essentially, the state said all people paid to wash, cut, and/or style hair have to be a licensed cosmetologist. I'm not sure regulating industry is such a bad thing. On the other hand, getting arrested for it is crap—a simple fine is the standard is most places, just like food vending without a permit.

Same. My father passed away this year, and it seems so many of my treasured stars and people who made memories in my life—gone. This is the worst year in many years. Some is just perspective, I know. My daughter is bursting with life and excited and building her business and I’m so glad, because this year has made me…

Wow, Madeleine (Ms Davies? Not sure how you prefer to be addressed in comments), that was the best write up I’ve read about his passing, and I've been reading all the ones I can find. It just seems right, that even at the end, he was still him. Your words were bittersweet and delightful and gentle. Very well done.…

Brave, strong young woman. Too bad her talents had to run across a bunch of scum sucking useless alumni trash who...*calm breathing*...Wonderful young woman, may she thrive and get all the follow-up counseling she needs and leave that garbage person in the garbage where...*calm breathing again*

Good enough for Linus Pauli and ILikeThunderstorms, good enough for me.

Clearly, your friend has never lived on a ranch or farm. Houseshoes are essential.

Can confirm.

Agreed. I honestly think this is as much about making sure they 0.1% STAY the 0.1%, and don't have any mudbloods mucking about in their yards.

Ms. Merlan—very funny! For some reason, I heard the whole thing as being narrated by Bob Newhart, with him looking nervously around the room at the end. Great job.

Dear Author,

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I watched my father die slowly and in pain, because he was an old man addicted to pain pills from years of old war wounds, all any of the “doctors” would do is see an addict looking for pills. Now, another member of my immediate family is experiencing chronic pain. It breaks my heart…

I love reading Jezebel. I would never in 1,000,000 years advise anyone to do an interview here, though. There is literally no benefit to the target of the interview. An interview with Jezebel would be something to be endured, not embraced.

Anna, your skill in navigating the shenanigans of Texas politicians continues to impress, despite you evacuating some time ago. Are you secretly making trips to Taco Cabana to stay in the loop?