Fucking Chris Christie is so out of touch he doesn’t even know that cannoli cost $2.50 a piece.

Last Friday I had four Six Point Resin double IPAs and an order of naan and rogan josh from the nearby Indian joint.

I don’t think it’s what you ate and drank but more how specific you were about it.

That’s the most absurd opinion I’ve ever heard. A 162 game hitting streak would be in the record books for all time. You would probably make the hall of fame just for that achievement.

Fiorina was fired in 2005. Autonomy was acquired in 2011 and was Apotheker’s mess, not Carly’s, as I understand it.

When you've had the kind of drought the Skins have had, there comes a time that even your Cousins start to look pretty good.

Given that it’s the Skins, I anticipate they’ll let Cousins walk and sign Peyton Manning to a 5-year deal.

As Garry Trudeau once remarked, “It’s like failure is a career option with you people!”

Fiorina was out from HP well before Autonomy came into the picture. That particular debacle is laid at the feet of Leo Apotheker. After Fiorina was Mark Hurd, who had office improprieties and cooked books. He was temporarily replaced by the CFO until the board brought in Apotheker, and then kicked him out ten months…

As someone whose office bathroom has an odd number of urinals, I can tell you that middle relievers should all be summarily executed.

Failed CEOs are like bad NFL coaches. They continue to get hired by other companies no matter how bad their records. But I don’t see how Carly Fiorina gets another corporate job except somewhere like Hobby Lobby after her Planned Parenthood delusions.

Yeah, but LaTroy Hawkins made his $47,462,500 at $14.00/hour.

According to the school’s athletic department, the clip was from a Jan. 21 game against Chattanooga, on National Hug Day. It wasn’t used until Valentine’s Day, when the UNCG promotions department tweeted it.

Goddamn psych majors.

No offense Holmes, but you’re dating WAY up. Don’t screw it up by trying to score cool points with Kathryn Hahn back there.

So I guess the coach reports this on the roster sheet tomorrow as Kane: Not able.

Not traveling to Ottawa isn’t much of a punishment.

Already written. “Failure: An American Success Story,” by Tom Haverford.

Why are we throwing the show House under the bus? I love that show.

Sarah Palin can shop in any 7-11 she pleases. Check your facts before you write some kind of lunacy of the highest order.