I think I held my breath for the first 45 minutes. City was winning every 50/50 ball, they were totally clicking. But even before the Salah goal, I thought Liverpool looked more assertive after the break. Klopp gets criticized (fairly, for the most part) for not being able to make adjustments. But I thought he really…

I was telling a friend at halftime that the match in general felt like reverse Liverpool. LFC were pinned back for most of the half, and thanks to a newly tidy defense (plus a touch of luck) they closed the half out with momentum. City came out planning to throw it all forward (they had no choice) in the second half…

Up until that Salah goal, i was ready for a heartbreaker. Felt like such a long game until then.

Liverpool is/are the coolest team left in the competition. Well done, pointing that out. I would go as far to say they’re probably the coolest team in the world.

As my old coach used to say, hit ‘em where they ain’t

Nine times out of ten it’s an electric razor, but every once in a while...it’s a dildo. Of course it’s company policy never to, imply ownership in the event of a dildo... always use the indefinite article a dildo, never your dildo.

Buncha hooligans.

Maybe they should’ve scheduled it so they’d arrive before halftime.

he gave a performance that will go down in the quickbooks.

The proper counter is to hatchet-throw the bat at the opposing pitcher, kick the catcher backwards, pick up the ball and run from third to first to home to second. This unlocks unlimited-dingers mode.

Dr. Narwhals Mating? I’m not sure how in good conscience you can give a #1 seed to what is clearly just Larry Nasser’s online kiddy porn forum alias.

I feel you. I once said “There is no fucking way they can make a Speed 2. It just wouldn’t make sense! How would it even make sense?”

doctor here...he most likely had some sort of undiagnosed heart condition, possibly hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. Probably better off googling it to get a picture, however in its most severe form can lead to sudden cardiac arrest during strenuous exercise...either way, sad story...

(which, to be honest, we’re used to experiencing every time one of you bums from the Midwest move down here)

Isn’t Pensacola in the Central Time Zone right now?

Massachusetts has been studying this and has put forth a recommendation that we move to AST. The fun part is most of the New England state legislatures have passed measures that basically say “if Mass goes, we go” so one vote on Beacon Hill could shift an entire region.

(Jon Lester punches mirror)

The small of a woman’s back, the hanging curveball, high fiber, good scotch, you’ve done very good work here. Seriously, good stuff.

Yeah, my dad does this, only the opposite way. He’ll call me and I won’t answer because I’m playing video games, reading Deadspin or having sex with my girlfriend (fapping) and if I don’t answer the call, I get the immediate text “hey, I just tried to call...”