Ticallion The Baptist
ahintz
5/8/20
4:52 PM
81

If Peter Parker and Alfred get to count as “dads”, then so does

3/9/20
5:10 PM
1

The British conquered most of the world in search of spices, only to decide that they didn’t like ANY of them.

2/25/20
10:39 AM
10

Obama and RuPaul both say “jif” so fuck everyone else.

2/19/20
9:12 PM
10

You know how you can buy 50-100 melamine sponges on Amazon for almost the same cost as a box of 8 Magic Erasers, and they are the exact same thing? Read more

You know how you can buy 50-100 melamine sponges on Amazon for almost the same cost as a box of 8 Magic Erasers, and

2/12/20
2:11 AM
1

Nah, it’s more like an adult movie theater situation; like, you find what you think is a dark corner, pull out your pud and go at it, when you look around and see a fellow patron doing the same. Your eyes meet for a second; he gives you a knowing nod, and then you both go about your business. Read more

2/7/20
2:30 PM
26

I’m pretty sure that the Venn diagram of “People who would, unprompted, share the story with the staff” and “People who will not be rude to the staff” looks like a pair of goggles.

2/5/20
1:27 PM
8

Because it has to come out of a gas station. So Doritos and packets of “taco sauce” are what they have to work with.

1/16/20
10:21 AM
51

The first few after Twin XL should have a single figure on it that signifies “Single, but optimistic.”

12/20/19
4:37 PM
62

Depends on the car? Does it have a rotary? 20,000. Is it a mid 90s Lexus with a Read more

12/19/19
5:03 PM
2

That’s the “Tornado Alley” areas every year.

10/30/19
8:30 PM
4

“Entitled to an Open Bar” is a blatantly classist and ultimately shitty take. I’m a first-generation college grad and my family was horrified when I informed them that my former classmates expected us to pay for the open bar past the cocktail hour. We’d been to many family and local weddings where this was not the Read more

10/22/19
12:43 AM
42

Not sure why I got an erection while reading this but it’s the new Willenium so anything is possible.

8/26/19
12:30 PM
125

This should be mandatory reading at the NFL rookie symposium, instead of having Antonio Cromartie telling them to use condoms and Adrian Petersen handing out his financial planner’s business card.